My Christmas gift to you – another partial list of the current rankings with some humor, well, hopefully.
2.Ohio State – I saw in the paper that the Buckeyes were playing #4 UConn Sunday afternoon. When I tuned in I depressingly discovered it was a women’s game. After watching a few minutes I became even more depressed - I was reminded that I play basketball worse than girls.
3.Kansas - The Jayhawks’ freshman superstar, John Selby, played in his first game Saturday. He had 5 rebounds, 21 points and hit a clutch 3-pointer in the win against USC. Prior to tip-off, Seth Davis predicted Selby would “take a few games to jell”. Post –game, Davis’ claimed he was actually referring to Selby’s tube of slow acting DEP.
48.Oakland – After the Golden Grizzles beat #7 Tennessee, I did some research to see if they might be the best team in California. Turns out, they aren’t even close. Mainly because they are located in Michigan.
132. St. Bonaventure - My beloved Bonnies beat Ohio University in 4 overtimes. A mere 3053 people showed up for the game. I guess that’s to be expected. I mean, how do they expect to draw people when ESPN was, at the same time, showing the uDrove Humanitarian Bowl?
Take it easy,
Dave
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Handful of Hopefully Humorous Rankings - Week4
Below is this week’s partial rankings. I hope it’s at least partially funny.
9.Baylor – High scoring LaceDarius Dunn was arrested this fall for assaulting his girlfriend, Lacharlesla Edwards. Some people think it was a mistake for the two to reconcile. I agree. I mean, how do they think they are ever going to find a wedding invitation big enough for both of their names?
16.Kentucky – The Wildcats are still trying to appeal the ruling that Enes Kanter is ineligible because he made over $30,000 while playing in Turkey. I wish them luck, but I think they are going to need a stronger argument. I just don’t think the NCAA is going to be persuaded by the fact that all the other players on Kentucky are making over $50,000.
21.BYU – I can’t quite figure out why BYU’s nickname is the Cougars. I guess it’s just because Brigham Young himself had a thing for horny older women.
29.Cleveland State – The official website for Cleveland State indicates that the school’s motto is “Engaged Learning.” That’s somewhat similar to the motto I try to pass on to America’s youth: “Learn To Never Get Engaged.”
Take it easy,
Dave Barend
9.Baylor – High scoring LaceDarius Dunn was arrested this fall for assaulting his girlfriend, Lacharlesla Edwards. Some people think it was a mistake for the two to reconcile. I agree. I mean, how do they think they are ever going to find a wedding invitation big enough for both of their names?
16.Kentucky – The Wildcats are still trying to appeal the ruling that Enes Kanter is ineligible because he made over $30,000 while playing in Turkey. I wish them luck, but I think they are going to need a stronger argument. I just don’t think the NCAA is going to be persuaded by the fact that all the other players on Kentucky are making over $50,000.
21.BYU – I can’t quite figure out why BYU’s nickname is the Cougars. I guess it’s just because Brigham Young himself had a thing for horny older women.
29.Cleveland State – The official website for Cleveland State indicates that the school’s motto is “Engaged Learning.” That’s somewhat similar to the motto I try to pass on to America’s youth: “Learn To Never Get Engaged.”
Take it easy,
Dave Barend
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Handful of Hopefully Humorous Rankings - Week3
Below is this week’s Top 25 minus 21. Enjoy.
2. Ohio State – Opposing coaches have claimed that every time Jared Sullinger throws a pick it is illegal. It’s not that he’s breaking the rules. It’s that when he causes someone to run into his 6’ 9”, 280 pound body he’s committing an assault and battery with a deadly weapon.
7. Syracuse - Coming from Brazil, Federico Melo is experiencing some culture shock. The carnival he went to in Syracuse was not much like Carnival. Though both have odd looking folks in strange get ups, the people at the carnival weren’t wearing costumes.
19. San Diego State – In the 1920’s SD State changed its colors from purple and gold to scarlet and black. It did so to stop people from confusing their letterman jackets with those of a high school with the same colors. Unfortunately some confusion with that high school remains. Not with the jackets, but with the level of education.
25. Notre Dame – Though the Fighting Irish are currently undefeated, the critics point to their lack of a road victory. But that would mean that ND’s 3 wins in Disney World don’t really count. I actually think they deserve an extra win. You know, for escaping the Magic Kingdom without a single homicide.
Take it easy,
Dave
2. Ohio State – Opposing coaches have claimed that every time Jared Sullinger throws a pick it is illegal. It’s not that he’s breaking the rules. It’s that when he causes someone to run into his 6’ 9”, 280 pound body he’s committing an assault and battery with a deadly weapon.
7. Syracuse - Coming from Brazil, Federico Melo is experiencing some culture shock. The carnival he went to in Syracuse was not much like Carnival. Though both have odd looking folks in strange get ups, the people at the carnival weren’t wearing costumes.
19. San Diego State – In the 1920’s SD State changed its colors from purple and gold to scarlet and black. It did so to stop people from confusing their letterman jackets with those of a high school with the same colors. Unfortunately some confusion with that high school remains. Not with the jackets, but with the level of education.
25. Notre Dame – Though the Fighting Irish are currently undefeated, the critics point to their lack of a road victory. But that would mean that ND’s 3 wins in Disney World don’t really count. I actually think they deserve an extra win. You know, for escaping the Magic Kingdom without a single homicide.
Take it easy,
Dave
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Handful of Hopefully Humorous Rankings - Week2
ESPN’s “Feast Week” has come to a close and below are some of the leftovers. I hope you enjoy them more than peas.
9.Kentucky – The Wildcats lost to UConn who got 29 points from Kemba Walker. When I mentioned Kemba’s impressive performance during Thanksgiving dinner, my wife asked, “How is it possible that so many points could be scored by a former Playboy centerfold?”
10. Syracuse – The Orange have a game coming up against the Drexel Dragons. Two of Drexel’s players were arrested prior to the season for brandishing a loaded gun. They really didn’t mean any harm. They were just confused with the motto: “We don’t rebuild. We reload.”
25. North Carolina - According to Wikipedia, UNC’s nickname, the Tar Heels, derived from Confederate soldiers who “stuck to their ranks with tar on their heels.” Though impressive during battle, someone should tell Coach Williams that it’s not the best way to play defense.
31.Wisconsin – The Badgers made it to the finals of the Old Spice Classic in Disney World. I found that surprising. No, not that Wisconsin did so well. But, as someone who has stood hour-long lines for Space Mountain, I was previously convinced that all deodorants were banned from The Magic Kingdom.
Take it easy,
Dave
9.Kentucky – The Wildcats lost to UConn who got 29 points from Kemba Walker. When I mentioned Kemba’s impressive performance during Thanksgiving dinner, my wife asked, “How is it possible that so many points could be scored by a former Playboy centerfold?”
10. Syracuse – The Orange have a game coming up against the Drexel Dragons. Two of Drexel’s players were arrested prior to the season for brandishing a loaded gun. They really didn’t mean any harm. They were just confused with the motto: “We don’t rebuild. We reload.”
25. North Carolina - According to Wikipedia, UNC’s nickname, the Tar Heels, derived from Confederate soldiers who “stuck to their ranks with tar on their heels.” Though impressive during battle, someone should tell Coach Williams that it’s not the best way to play defense.
31.Wisconsin – The Badgers made it to the finals of the Old Spice Classic in Disney World. I found that surprising. No, not that Wisconsin did so well. But, as someone who has stood hour-long lines for Space Mountain, I was previously convinced that all deodorants were banned from The Magic Kingdom.
Take it easy,
Dave
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Handful of Hopefully Humorous Rankings - Week1
Instead of just doing the Top 10, this year I’ve decided to throw in some other random teams. Why? To mix it up a bit. I’ve also decided to go with 4 instead of 10. Why? Because 4 is less than 10.
1.Duke – On ESPN this past Friday night, Dick Vitale claimed that Coach K was the best coach of any team of any sport on any level. I think Vitale might have forgotten something. No, not that Bill Belichick has won 3 Super Bowls or that Phil Jackson has 11 rings. But that he was calling a game between Pitt and Texas.
3.Kansas State – It surprised me that prep school star Nino Williams signed with Kansas State. I figured he would have fit in much better at University of Kansas. You know, since he’s from Leavenworth.
20.Temple – I’m hoping that Temple’s upcoming game against Cal is televised and that Chris Berman does the play by play. I’d love to see what kind of nickname he could come up with for Cal’s sophomore, Bak Bak.
23.Tennessee – Coach Bruce Pearl was suspended by the SEC for 8 games because he had recruits over to his house for dinner. This has made the other SEC coaches quite happy. They think they can use this ruling to keep unwanted friends and family from coming to their homes for Thanksgiving dinner.
Take it easy,
Dave
1.Duke – On ESPN this past Friday night, Dick Vitale claimed that Coach K was the best coach of any team of any sport on any level. I think Vitale might have forgotten something. No, not that Bill Belichick has won 3 Super Bowls or that Phil Jackson has 11 rings. But that he was calling a game between Pitt and Texas.
3.Kansas State – It surprised me that prep school star Nino Williams signed with Kansas State. I figured he would have fit in much better at University of Kansas. You know, since he’s from Leavenworth.
20.Temple – I’m hoping that Temple’s upcoming game against Cal is televised and that Chris Berman does the play by play. I’d love to see what kind of nickname he could come up with for Cal’s sophomore, Bak Bak.
23.Tennessee – Coach Bruce Pearl was suspended by the SEC for 8 games because he had recruits over to his house for dinner. This has made the other SEC coaches quite happy. They think they can use this ruling to keep unwanted friends and family from coming to their homes for Thanksgiving dinner.
Take it easy,
Dave
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Pre-Season Final 4 & Irrelevant Comments
Below are my hopefully humorous pre-season Final 4 picks. Though, like most people not in Durham, I kind of hope my first pick is wrong.
1.Duke – The Blue Devils first game is against Princeton Sunday in the 10th year of the CBE Classic. That’s quite sad. No, not the match-up. But the fact that something created during my lifetime could possibly be considered a “Classic”. It’s almost as depressing as the time when I heard “The Safety Dance” on the radio and then realized that I was listening to an oldies station.
2.Michigan State – After a big play, Spartans’ guard, Kalin Lucas loves to “jersey pop”. You know, by pulling on the top from of his jersey. He apparently thinks this is quite “bad-ass”. Really? How “bad-ass” can an act be that makes a guy look like he has boobs?
3.Pittsburgh – The Panthers open the season on Monday against Rhode Island. Now that seems appropriate. See ‘cause, Pittsburgh very much likes to be called Pitt and the state of Rhode Island is very much like a pit.
4.Memphis – It might be a stretch to pick the young Tigers for the Final 4, but I really like their new forward, Hippolyte Tsfack. As hoops names go, Hippolyte is definitely top notch. But I can assure you with first hand knowledge that it is not a great pet name for a wife.
Take it easy,
Dave
1.Duke – The Blue Devils first game is against Princeton Sunday in the 10th year of the CBE Classic. That’s quite sad. No, not the match-up. But the fact that something created during my lifetime could possibly be considered a “Classic”. It’s almost as depressing as the time when I heard “The Safety Dance” on the radio and then realized that I was listening to an oldies station.
2.Michigan State – After a big play, Spartans’ guard, Kalin Lucas loves to “jersey pop”. You know, by pulling on the top from of his jersey. He apparently thinks this is quite “bad-ass”. Really? How “bad-ass” can an act be that makes a guy look like he has boobs?
3.Pittsburgh – The Panthers open the season on Monday against Rhode Island. Now that seems appropriate. See ‘cause, Pittsburgh very much likes to be called Pitt and the state of Rhode Island is very much like a pit.
4.Memphis – It might be a stretch to pick the young Tigers for the Final 4, but I really like their new forward, Hippolyte Tsfack. As hoops names go, Hippolyte is definitely top notch. But I can assure you with first hand knowledge that it is not a great pet name for a wife.
Take it easy,
Dave
Sunday, April 4, 2010
One Sh!tty Moment - 2010
After the championship game, CBS once again showed a montage of Tourney clips set to “One Shining Moment”. The lyrics are below. Interspersed within those lyrics are the words to the 2010 version of my song – “One Sh!tty Moment”, written for all of you who, like me, had their brackets destroyed well before Monday’s big game. Enjoy.
One Sh!tty Moment - 2010
The ball is tipped
(Kansas got whipped)
and there you are
(So you head to a bar)
you're running for your life
(Hiding from your wife)
you're a shooting star
(‘Cause you bet too much by far.)
And all the years
(Downin’ all those beers)
no one knows
(hoping no one knows)
just how hard you worked
(despite how hard you worked)
but now it shows...
(you forgot that Boeheim blows!)
IN ONE SHINING MOMENT,
(In One Sh!tty Moment)
IT'S ALL ON THE LINE
(ND’s Goddy Seemed Blind)
ONE SHINING MOMENT,
(One Sh!tty Moment)
THERE FROZEN IN TIME
(St. Mary’s kicked ‘Nova’s behind)
But time is short
(Kentucky came up short)
and the road is long
(Baylor didn’t stay too long)
in the blinking of an eye
(You let out a sigh)
ah that moment's gone
(Your Final 4 is gone.)
And when it's done
(Though K-State made it fun)
win or lose
(to watch Xavier lose,)
you always did your best
(2 OTs meant no rest)
cuz inside you knew...
(So next day’s work you screwed)
THAT ONE SHINING MOMENT,
(One Sh!tty Moment)
YOU REACHED DEEP INSIDE
(You Knew Georgetown Hadn’t Tried)
ONE SHINING MOMENT,
(One Sh!tty Moment)
YOU KNEW YOU WERE ALIVE
(You Puked With Each Duke High Five)
Feel the beat of your heart
(WV’s loss stopped your heart)
feel the wind in your face
(But Huggins didn’t wipe tears from “your” face.)
it's more than a contest
(And Cornell won? A math contest?)
it's more than a race...
(Then the Spartans put you in your place.)
And when it's done
(Picked Butler out in Round 1)
win or lose
(Yeah, you can really choose)
you always did your best
(Thought you were up for the test)
cuz inside you knew...
(But Murray State? Who knew?)
THAT ONE SHINING MOMENT,
(That One Sh!tty Moment)
YOU REACHED FOR THE SKY
(Northern Iowa Just Wouldn’t Die)
ONE SHINING MOMENT,
(One Sh!tty Moment)
YOU WERE WILLING TO TRY
(So Throw Away Those Brackets – They Just Make You Cry.)
Until next year -
Take it easy,
Dave
“Who’s Who” of who is still alive in the Free pool:
(Also known as the list of people who have yet to have their One Sh!tty Moment.)
Butler Wins:
1.Michael Wood ($1,967.87)– My 6’ 4” neighbor who used to be UConn’s strength coach and was listed by Men’s Journal amongst the top 100 fitness trainers in the US. Whenever my wife sees him out walking his tiny little dog she always comments, “Oh, how cute.” Wait a minute. It’s just hitting me that my wife might not be referring to the dog.
2. (Tie) Jon Weideman ($490.46) – A man with whom I’ve showered many times. I should probably explain that. Jon and I went to St. Bonaventure University where the dorms are equipped with communal showers. Yeah, you’d think that would be the situation at a Catholic school.
2.(Tie) Julia Wood ($490.46)– Though ranked by “ESPN Rise” as one of the best guards in Massachusetts, she has yet to beat me in a game of H-O-R-S-E. That could be because she has yet to play me in a game of H-O-R-S-E.
4.(Tie) Charles O’Shea ($81.74)– A person whom I’ve never met. According to my sister Samara, he is a good friend of hers. Not sure what that means. She considers Julia Stiles to be a friend based on the fact that they once shared a cab.
4.(Tie) Michael Joyce ($81.74) – My sister’s boyfriend’s brother-in-law. He is, therefore, living proof that I truly ask everyone I know, to ask everyone they know, to join this pool.
Duke Wins:
1.Eric Anable ($1,961.87)– An old friend dating back to junior high with whom I reconnected with recently via the power of Facebook. He and I played on a travel soccer team called Ajax. He then got really good, and moved on to play for 409.
2.Mark Hoover ($653.96)– Clearly someone who now hates the power of Facebook. He's also a BC Law buddy who has yet to recover from the fact that “Jackass 2” got snubbed at the Oscars.
3.Michael Wood ($326.97) – See Above
4 (Tie) Jon Weideman ($81.74) – See Above
4. (Tie) Julia Wood – ($81.74) - See Above
Jimmy V - $163.48
*(An extra $25 was donated by Tyler Bonstead to the Jimmy V Foundation)
Good Luck To All,
Dave
One Sh!tty Moment - 2010
The ball is tipped
(Kansas got whipped)
and there you are
(So you head to a bar)
you're running for your life
(Hiding from your wife)
you're a shooting star
(‘Cause you bet too much by far.)
And all the years
(Downin’ all those beers)
no one knows
(hoping no one knows)
just how hard you worked
(despite how hard you worked)
but now it shows...
(you forgot that Boeheim blows!)
IN ONE SHINING MOMENT,
(In One Sh!tty Moment)
IT'S ALL ON THE LINE
(ND’s Goddy Seemed Blind)
ONE SHINING MOMENT,
(One Sh!tty Moment)
THERE FROZEN IN TIME
(St. Mary’s kicked ‘Nova’s behind)
But time is short
(Kentucky came up short)
and the road is long
(Baylor didn’t stay too long)
in the blinking of an eye
(You let out a sigh)
ah that moment's gone
(Your Final 4 is gone.)
And when it's done
(Though K-State made it fun)
win or lose
(to watch Xavier lose,)
you always did your best
(2 OTs meant no rest)
cuz inside you knew...
(So next day’s work you screwed)
THAT ONE SHINING MOMENT,
(One Sh!tty Moment)
YOU REACHED DEEP INSIDE
(You Knew Georgetown Hadn’t Tried)
ONE SHINING MOMENT,
(One Sh!tty Moment)
YOU KNEW YOU WERE ALIVE
(You Puked With Each Duke High Five)
Feel the beat of your heart
(WV’s loss stopped your heart)
feel the wind in your face
(But Huggins didn’t wipe tears from “your” face.)
it's more than a contest
(And Cornell won? A math contest?)
it's more than a race...
(Then the Spartans put you in your place.)
And when it's done
(Picked Butler out in Round 1)
win or lose
(Yeah, you can really choose)
you always did your best
(Thought you were up for the test)
cuz inside you knew...
(But Murray State? Who knew?)
THAT ONE SHINING MOMENT,
(That One Sh!tty Moment)
YOU REACHED FOR THE SKY
(Northern Iowa Just Wouldn’t Die)
ONE SHINING MOMENT,
(One Sh!tty Moment)
YOU WERE WILLING TO TRY
(So Throw Away Those Brackets – They Just Make You Cry.)
Until next year -
Take it easy,
Dave
“Who’s Who” of who is still alive in the Free pool:
(Also known as the list of people who have yet to have their One Sh!tty Moment.)
Butler Wins:
1.Michael Wood ($1,967.87)– My 6’ 4” neighbor who used to be UConn’s strength coach and was listed by Men’s Journal amongst the top 100 fitness trainers in the US. Whenever my wife sees him out walking his tiny little dog she always comments, “Oh, how cute.” Wait a minute. It’s just hitting me that my wife might not be referring to the dog.
2. (Tie) Jon Weideman ($490.46) – A man with whom I’ve showered many times. I should probably explain that. Jon and I went to St. Bonaventure University where the dorms are equipped with communal showers. Yeah, you’d think that would be the situation at a Catholic school.
2.(Tie) Julia Wood ($490.46)– Though ranked by “ESPN Rise” as one of the best guards in Massachusetts, she has yet to beat me in a game of H-O-R-S-E. That could be because she has yet to play me in a game of H-O-R-S-E.
4.(Tie) Charles O’Shea ($81.74)– A person whom I’ve never met. According to my sister Samara, he is a good friend of hers. Not sure what that means. She considers Julia Stiles to be a friend based on the fact that they once shared a cab.
4.(Tie) Michael Joyce ($81.74) – My sister’s boyfriend’s brother-in-law. He is, therefore, living proof that I truly ask everyone I know, to ask everyone they know, to join this pool.
Duke Wins:
1.Eric Anable ($1,961.87)– An old friend dating back to junior high with whom I reconnected with recently via the power of Facebook. He and I played on a travel soccer team called Ajax. He then got really good, and moved on to play for 409.
2.Mark Hoover ($653.96)– Clearly someone who now hates the power of Facebook. He's also a BC Law buddy who has yet to recover from the fact that “Jackass 2” got snubbed at the Oscars.
3.Michael Wood ($326.97) – See Above
4 (Tie) Jon Weideman ($81.74) – See Above
4. (Tie) Julia Wood – ($81.74) - See Above
Jimmy V - $163.48
*(An extra $25 was donated by Tyler Bonstead to the Jimmy V Foundation)
Good Luck To All,
Dave
Friday, April 2, 2010
Dave's Final 4 Point Play
Below is my hopefully humorous Final 4-point play. Below that is the list of all the folks who still have a shot at coming in first –fourth in the “Free” pool. I opted not to put together a separate list of people who claim to know a lot about college hoops, but have no chance at winning the pool – because I would be on top.
Final 4 Point Play –
1.Butler – So, odds are that you, like most folks, are leaning toward rooting for the underdog Bulldogs to win it all. Before you commit, let me give you a little bit of info about the founder of Butler University that may change your mind. He was an attorney.
2.Duke – During their game against the “play-in” winner, Arkansas Pine-Bluff, the Blue Devil Mascot wore a headband that read “Played In/Blown Out.” Given that Duke’s win on Sunday was due to awful officiating, their mascot should be forced to wear a different headband this weekend. One that reads, “Fix’s In/Bailed Out.”
3.West Virginia –I’ve been told that WV’s guard, Joe Mazzulla has acquired the nickname “Corn Oil”. I’m guessing that’s because of Mazola Corn Oil. Then again, it could be because he has some kind of greasy foot issue.
4.Michigan State – Oregon reportedly offered to make Tom Izzo the highest paid coach in college basketball. Should it really take that much to convince him to leave the state of Michigan. I mean, half that state is currently filled with unemployed people. And the other half is filled with Michael Moore.
Folks With A Chance To Finish 1-4 In The Arguably Non-Illegal Pool
Duke Wins Championship
1 Eric Anable
2 Mark Hoover
3.Michael Wood
4 (tie) John Wiedeman
4.(tie) Julia Wood
West Virginia Wins Championship
1 Tara Kenyon
2 Clare Frey
3. Mikey Schmidt
4.Dan Palmisano
Michigan State or Butler beats West Virginia
1.Michael Joyce
2.David Mitchell
3.David Diprosa
4.Tara Kenyon
Michigan State or Butler beats Duke
1.Michael Wood
2.(tie) John Wiedeman
2.(tie) Julia Wood
4. (tie) Charles O’Shea
4. (tie) Michael Joyce
First place - $1,947.49
Second place $649.16
Third place - $324.58
Fourth place - $162.29
Jimmy V - $162.29
Total Pot - $3,245.81
*(An extra $25 was donated by Tyler Bonstead to the Jimmy V Foundation)
Take it easy,
Dave
Final 4 Point Play –
1.Butler – So, odds are that you, like most folks, are leaning toward rooting for the underdog Bulldogs to win it all. Before you commit, let me give you a little bit of info about the founder of Butler University that may change your mind. He was an attorney.
2.Duke – During their game against the “play-in” winner, Arkansas Pine-Bluff, the Blue Devil Mascot wore a headband that read “Played In/Blown Out.” Given that Duke’s win on Sunday was due to awful officiating, their mascot should be forced to wear a different headband this weekend. One that reads, “Fix’s In/Bailed Out.”
3.West Virginia –I’ve been told that WV’s guard, Joe Mazzulla has acquired the nickname “Corn Oil”. I’m guessing that’s because of Mazola Corn Oil. Then again, it could be because he has some kind of greasy foot issue.
4.Michigan State – Oregon reportedly offered to make Tom Izzo the highest paid coach in college basketball. Should it really take that much to convince him to leave the state of Michigan. I mean, half that state is currently filled with unemployed people. And the other half is filled with Michael Moore.
Folks With A Chance To Finish 1-4 In The Arguably Non-Illegal Pool
Duke Wins Championship
1 Eric Anable
2 Mark Hoover
3.Michael Wood
4 (tie) John Wiedeman
4.(tie) Julia Wood
West Virginia Wins Championship
1 Tara Kenyon
2 Clare Frey
3. Mikey Schmidt
4.Dan Palmisano
Michigan State or Butler beats West Virginia
1.Michael Joyce
2.David Mitchell
3.David Diprosa
4.Tara Kenyon
Michigan State or Butler beats Duke
1.Michael Wood
2.(tie) John Wiedeman
2.(tie) Julia Wood
4. (tie) Charles O’Shea
4. (tie) Michael Joyce
First place - $1,947.49
Second place $649.16
Third place - $324.58
Fourth place - $162.29
Jimmy V - $162.29
Total Pot - $3,245.81
*(An extra $25 was donated by Tyler Bonstead to the Jimmy V Foundation)
Take it easy,
Dave
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Dave's 2nd Ridiculous 4 Pointer
Below is my 2nd attempt at a humorous 4-pointer. Below that is some info on my sort of free and arguably non-illegal NCAA Tourney Pool.
4 Point play -
1.Southwest – Every commercial break during the Tourney seems to include the ad for Southwest Airlines. You know, with the 10 guys who each have a letter of “BAGS FLY FREE” painted on their chests. Seemingly self-explanatory, but somehow I’m confused. Are they referring to the luggage or to that forlorn passenger on another airline who happens to be a homely old woman?
2.Kansas – KU’s new football coach has forbidden his players from swearing. He even has a list of disallowed words. The basketball team has a similar rule, but only one word is on their list – Farokmanesh.
3.St. Mary’s – After realizing that Omar Samhan’s last name is pronounced Sam-han, CBS announcer Bill Raftery dubbed him “The Sandman”. Slightly clever. But as usual CBS took it too far. Rumor has it they’re working on a sitcom starring Samhan and Raftery called “The Sandman & The Old Man.”
4.Games Needed – So Monday night comes and there were no NCAA Tourney games to watch. I was going through “hoops withdrawal” so bad that I started getting the shakes. Luckily, I found some NIT games. Phew. A few minutes more and I would have turned to women’s basketball.
Free Pool Info
Assuming that all the checks that I received actually clear, below is the breakdown on the winnings from the donations -
First place - $1,947.49
Second place $649.16
Third place - $324.58
Fourth place - $162.29
Jimmy V - $162.29
Total Pot - $3,245.81
*(An extra $25 was donated by Tyler Bonstead to the Jimmy V Foundation)
Take it easy,
Dave
4 Point play -
1.Southwest – Every commercial break during the Tourney seems to include the ad for Southwest Airlines. You know, with the 10 guys who each have a letter of “BAGS FLY FREE” painted on their chests. Seemingly self-explanatory, but somehow I’m confused. Are they referring to the luggage or to that forlorn passenger on another airline who happens to be a homely old woman?
2.Kansas – KU’s new football coach has forbidden his players from swearing. He even has a list of disallowed words. The basketball team has a similar rule, but only one word is on their list – Farokmanesh.
3.St. Mary’s – After realizing that Omar Samhan’s last name is pronounced Sam-han, CBS announcer Bill Raftery dubbed him “The Sandman”. Slightly clever. But as usual CBS took it too far. Rumor has it they’re working on a sitcom starring Samhan and Raftery called “The Sandman & The Old Man.”
4.Games Needed – So Monday night comes and there were no NCAA Tourney games to watch. I was going through “hoops withdrawal” so bad that I started getting the shakes. Luckily, I found some NIT games. Phew. A few minutes more and I would have turned to women’s basketball.
Free Pool Info
Assuming that all the checks that I received actually clear, below is the breakdown on the winnings from the donations -
First place - $1,947.49
Second place $649.16
Third place - $324.58
Fourth place - $162.29
Jimmy V - $162.29
Total Pot - $3,245.81
*(An extra $25 was donated by Tyler Bonstead to the Jimmy V Foundation)
Take it easy,
Dave
Friday, March 19, 2010
Dave's First Ridiculous 4 Point Play
Below is my "First Ridiculous 4 Point Play" of the Tourney. I hope it is as laughable as when I actually attempt to make a 4-point play in a game.
1.Kentucky – I picked The Wildcats to win it all. My only fear is if Bledsoe gets injured. You know, ‘cause UK doesn’t have a guy to replace him named Brady.
2.Syracuse – Vegas has pretty high odds on SU making it to the Final Four. They also have decent odds on Jennifer Hudson showing up and singing, “One Shining Moment”. This then begs the following question: If both Syracuse & Jennifer Hudson are at the Final 4, what are the odds that she tries to eat the Orange?
3.Arkansas-Pine Bluff – The Golden Lions lost their first 11 games of the season, but managed an unbelievable turn around and made the Tournament. Such immense failure followed by incredible success is much like the story of my life. Well, minus the part with the incredible success.
4.The Masters – CBS has been perpetually promoting the Masters during the Tourney. I really think they should add a little public service message concerning the lesson to be learned from Tiger’s predicament. That of course being – Don’t ever get married.
For those of you in the "FREE" and arguably non-illegal pool, the pot is at $3,245.81 as of 4:00p.m. on 3/22.
I'll try for another 4 pointer on Thursday.
Take it easy,
Dave
1.Kentucky – I picked The Wildcats to win it all. My only fear is if Bledsoe gets injured. You know, ‘cause UK doesn’t have a guy to replace him named Brady.
2.Syracuse – Vegas has pretty high odds on SU making it to the Final Four. They also have decent odds on Jennifer Hudson showing up and singing, “One Shining Moment”. This then begs the following question: If both Syracuse & Jennifer Hudson are at the Final 4, what are the odds that she tries to eat the Orange?
3.Arkansas-Pine Bluff – The Golden Lions lost their first 11 games of the season, but managed an unbelievable turn around and made the Tournament. Such immense failure followed by incredible success is much like the story of my life. Well, minus the part with the incredible success.
4.The Masters – CBS has been perpetually promoting the Masters during the Tourney. I really think they should add a little public service message concerning the lesson to be learned from Tiger’s predicament. That of course being – Don’t ever get married.
For those of you in the "FREE" and arguably non-illegal pool, the pot is at $3,245.81 as of 4:00p.m. on 3/22.
I'll try for another 4 pointer on Thursday.
Take it easy,
Dave
Friday, March 12, 2010
Idiot Proof Rules for Pool with Rankings & Irrelevant Comments - week 19
The Idiot Proof Rules & Instructions for this year’s pool are below my Hopefully Humorous Rankings. Though this week instead of listing the top 10, I listed the first 10 – as in the first 10 in the NCAA Tourney.
First 10 -
1.Cornell – Given that “The Big Red” is located in the economic disaster land of upstate New York, Cornell might want to make a slight alteration to its nickname. And go with “In The Big Red”.
2.Murray State - Murray State was the best of the 10 teams in the Ohio Valley Conference. Of those 10 teams, not one is actually in Ohio. Big deal. Not one team in the Atlantic-10 Conference is in the Atlantic.
3.East Tennessee State – With ETSU now in the Tourney, the state of Tennessee might get an impressive four bids. The best of the bunch just may be the Vanderbilt Commodores. Though the folks at Vandy like to call themselves “The ‘dores”. Why? Well, go to iTunes and click on “Three Times A Lady.” That’s why.
4.Winthrop – Based in Rock Hill, South Carolina, Winthrop was formed with the goal of educating teachers. It changed that goal when it realized that the State of South Carolina found no need for having educated teachers.
5.Northern Iowa – Senior Jordan Eglsder is majoring in Youth and Human Services. Huh. Aren’t most youth also human? Wait a minute. I forgot about teenagers.
6.Old Dominion – I just checked out ODU’s roster and I noticed that Chris Cooper plays forward. That’s hard to picture. I’ll always see him as a CIA agent trying to catch Jason Bourne.
7.Siena – The Saints have won the automatic bid from the Metro Atlantic. The Vermont Catamounts may get the bid from America East. It has yet to be determined who will represent Virgin Atlantic or US Air.
8.Wofford – Many people think that Wofford is pronounced “Wuff-ford”. The school chooses to pronounce it Waff-ford. It doesn’t help that the nickname is the Terriers. But then again, the school chooses to pronounce “Terriers” as Cats.
9.St. Mary’s - St. Mary’s web site indicates that college’s mission is to “Transform the way students think about themselves.” If that’s really their mission they might want to think about dropping St. Mary’s as its name. And replacing it with L Ron Hubbard’s.
10.North Texas – North Texas has one of my favorite nicknames: The Mean Green. So much better than their second choice: The Cantankerous Chartreuse.
Idiot Proof Instructions For This Year's "Free" NCAA Tourney Pool.
(As of 3:30 p.m. 3/18/10 - the pot is at $2,288.16)
There's some BIG CHANGES from last year, so PLEASE READ through the below spew.
1. Yahoo - As in the past, the pool will be run via Yahoo and in the classic "fill out the bracket" format with points doubling each round. As opposed to last year, the whole pool will be on one Yahoo site. Since each site can only hold 250 entries, you might want to join soon to assure yourself a spot. Also IMPORTANT to note is that every year the Yahoo Tourney site temporarily crashes - usually the day after Selection Sunday and the hour before the first round starts on Thursday. Avoid this aggravation by joining soon.
2. $ prizes - 1st place: 60% of pot, 2nd place: 20% of pot, 3rd place 10% of pot, 4th place - 5% of pot, Jimmy V Foundation 5% of pot.
3. Cost - BIG CHANGES
3a. Same as last year - The pot for the pool, like last year, will come from all of the advertising revenue and donations that I receive at www.davebarendscollegehoophumor.blogspot.com. That's right, every penny I get I'm putting toward the pot. I'm not keeping a cent. Last year's total pot was near $3000. Also like last year, you can join the pool for free.
3b. Different from last year - If you donate less than $25 and you finish in 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 4th place, your share of the winnings will be sent directly to the Jimmy V Foundation for Cancer Research. If you donate $25 or more and you finish in 1st, 2nd or 3rd or 4th place, your share of the winnings will be sent directly to you and you can make whatever charitable donation you see fit. Bottom line - if you want the winnings sent to you, donate at least $25.
4.How to donate - The easiest and preferable way is via the PayPal link at the top right hand corner of www.davebarendscollegehoophumor.blogspot.com. There are a couple negatives with PayPal though: that company takes something like 3% + 30 cents of every donation. Regardless, a $25 donation to Paypal will count as a "$25" donation to the pool. Also, some people are just afraid of using Paypal. So if you would like to donate, but don't want to use Paypal you can send me a check BUT ONLY IF you actually know me. Sorry.
5. Deadline to donate - If you donate via Paypal you must have your donation in before noon on Thursday, March 18th. If you donate via check (only if you know me) you must have your envelope postmarked by Thursday March 18. If you join the pool, but submit your donation after March 18th, your winnings will be forwarded to Jimmy V. Also, if you don't get an email me thanking you for your donation, that means that I have not received your donation.
6.Enter with your Actual Name - It's VERY IMPORTANT that when you create the name of your entry for our Yahoo site, you enter your actual name. Otherwise, I will delete you. It is a severe pain in the ass trying to keep track of who everyone is when people are not using their actual names. So, if your name is Keith Mangas, just create your entry name to be Keith Mangas. If you feel absolutely compelled to include some kind of nickname, as my father does, then put it in quotes between your first and last names. Got it Harold "Golden Balls" Barend? Also, if I do not know you, you must email me at davebarend@yahoo.com prior to joining to let me know who you are. If there is a entry in our pool whose name I do not recognize, I will delete it.
7. NO Multiple Entries - 1 entry per person. BUT if you really want to submit multiple entries, then convince someone else you know to join and make the picks for that person. You might also want to try to convince that person to give you the $ if you win.
8.Friends/Recruits - Feel free to get your friends, family members or whoever else you know to join the pool. But please make sure they realize that if they join they need to email me and let me know who they are or they will be deleted. Also, don't just forward other people the password and group id#. Make sure they get all of the rules.
9.Advertising - if you want to advertise on my site, send me an email and we'll work out something.
10. How to Join our Yahoo group site - Though I have listed idiot proof steps to join the Yahoo site, many of you should be able to figure it out at http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1. Go to join group. The group id # is 11594. The password is swish - (the name of the transvestite in Fastbreak.) Please remember that when you enter your "Bracket Name" to use your actual name. You also might want to remember to sign back in to the site after Sunday March 14 - so you can make your picks.
Idiot Proof instruction on joining the Yahoo Group
(1) Go to http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1. OR you can go to Yahoo, click on sport, click on fantasy, then click on Tourney Pick'em '10.
(2) Click on “Join a Group” (Not “create a group”)
(3) Click on “Join Group” (different screen from step 2)
(4) Enter your own personal Yahoo ID and Yahoo password on right side from your own personal Yahoo account. Note that these are NOT the same as the ones list below for entering our group. COMMON MISTAKE – is entering the info to join the site. Try not to make that mistake.
(5) If you do not have your own personal Yahoo account click on "Sign Up" under "Don't have a Yahoo! ID?" Otherwise, go to step (6).
(5b)Enter the requested personal info (name & your creation of an id and password, & code) on the page.
(5c) Write down your personal id and password then click on "agree" to the terms then click on “create my account”.
(5d) Click on “continue” to Yahoo Sports on right side of page.
(6) Enter our group id# 11594 and our password swish - (the name of the transvestite in Fastbreak.) . (DO Not enter your personal Yahoo id and password.) Click on “save and continue”.
(7) Enter your actual full name as your "bracket name". Please NO NICKNAMES!! I will delete entries that do not comply.
(8) Click on the box next to “Terms of Service”
(9) Determine whether you want to enter Yahoo's separate contest for $1mil - if so, enter the requested info and accept terms. If you don’t need the $1,000,000 then I’d say you probably could afford to donate $25 bucks to the pot.
(10) Hit submit (lower left corner) – You are now in our group.
(11) “I don’t see my name!!” - Your name might not appear because the initial screen only shows 10 entrants. Click on standings. Ahh – there’s your name.
(12) Click on your name. The Midwest region appears. Click on the the team you want to win each game of the first 4 rounds. Then click on Save and Continue. Do the same for the next 3 regions and then for the final 4.
(13) Make sure you Save your Picks – Every year someone fails to do so. Every year that person actually wanted me to allow them to enter their picks after the games had been played. So every year I'm reminded me of an episode of Cheers where Sam thought he was doing Woody a favor by not placing a ridiculous sports bet, but the long shot won. Sam then had the following conversation with Diane.
Diane: So, why don't you go to the...
Sam: Bookie.
Diane: ...bookie and tell him that you honestly intended to wager on the winning teams and see if he won't give you the money.
Sam: That's a good idea. While I'm at it why don't I just tell him that I meant to bet on all the winning teams since 1975?
If you just save your picks then we don’t have to have that same conversation.
Take it easy,
Dave
First 10 -
1.Cornell – Given that “The Big Red” is located in the economic disaster land of upstate New York, Cornell might want to make a slight alteration to its nickname. And go with “In The Big Red”.
2.Murray State - Murray State was the best of the 10 teams in the Ohio Valley Conference. Of those 10 teams, not one is actually in Ohio. Big deal. Not one team in the Atlantic-10 Conference is in the Atlantic.
3.East Tennessee State – With ETSU now in the Tourney, the state of Tennessee might get an impressive four bids. The best of the bunch just may be the Vanderbilt Commodores. Though the folks at Vandy like to call themselves “The ‘dores”. Why? Well, go to iTunes and click on “Three Times A Lady.” That’s why.
4.Winthrop – Based in Rock Hill, South Carolina, Winthrop was formed with the goal of educating teachers. It changed that goal when it realized that the State of South Carolina found no need for having educated teachers.
5.Northern Iowa – Senior Jordan Eglsder is majoring in Youth and Human Services. Huh. Aren’t most youth also human? Wait a minute. I forgot about teenagers.
6.Old Dominion – I just checked out ODU’s roster and I noticed that Chris Cooper plays forward. That’s hard to picture. I’ll always see him as a CIA agent trying to catch Jason Bourne.
7.Siena – The Saints have won the automatic bid from the Metro Atlantic. The Vermont Catamounts may get the bid from America East. It has yet to be determined who will represent Virgin Atlantic or US Air.
8.Wofford – Many people think that Wofford is pronounced “Wuff-ford”. The school chooses to pronounce it Waff-ford. It doesn’t help that the nickname is the Terriers. But then again, the school chooses to pronounce “Terriers” as Cats.
9.St. Mary’s - St. Mary’s web site indicates that college’s mission is to “Transform the way students think about themselves.” If that’s really their mission they might want to think about dropping St. Mary’s as its name. And replacing it with L Ron Hubbard’s.
10.North Texas – North Texas has one of my favorite nicknames: The Mean Green. So much better than their second choice: The Cantankerous Chartreuse.
Idiot Proof Instructions For This Year's "Free" NCAA Tourney Pool.
(As of 3:30 p.m. 3/18/10 - the pot is at $2,288.16)
There's some BIG CHANGES from last year, so PLEASE READ through the below spew.
1. Yahoo - As in the past, the pool will be run via Yahoo and in the classic "fill out the bracket" format with points doubling each round. As opposed to last year, the whole pool will be on one Yahoo site. Since each site can only hold 250 entries, you might want to join soon to assure yourself a spot. Also IMPORTANT to note is that every year the Yahoo Tourney site temporarily crashes - usually the day after Selection Sunday and the hour before the first round starts on Thursday. Avoid this aggravation by joining soon.
2. $ prizes - 1st place: 60% of pot, 2nd place: 20% of pot, 3rd place 10% of pot, 4th place - 5% of pot, Jimmy V Foundation 5% of pot.
3. Cost - BIG CHANGES
3a. Same as last year - The pot for the pool, like last year, will come from all of the advertising revenue and donations that I receive at www.davebarendscollegehoophumor.blogspot.com. That's right, every penny I get I'm putting toward the pot. I'm not keeping a cent. Last year's total pot was near $3000. Also like last year, you can join the pool for free.
3b. Different from last year - If you donate less than $25 and you finish in 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 4th place, your share of the winnings will be sent directly to the Jimmy V Foundation for Cancer Research. If you donate $25 or more and you finish in 1st, 2nd or 3rd or 4th place, your share of the winnings will be sent directly to you and you can make whatever charitable donation you see fit. Bottom line - if you want the winnings sent to you, donate at least $25.
4.How to donate - The easiest and preferable way is via the PayPal link at the top right hand corner of www.davebarendscollegehoophumor.blogspot.com. There are a couple negatives with PayPal though: that company takes something like 3% + 30 cents of every donation. Regardless, a $25 donation to Paypal will count as a "$25" donation to the pool. Also, some people are just afraid of using Paypal. So if you would like to donate, but don't want to use Paypal you can send me a check BUT ONLY IF you actually know me. Sorry.
5. Deadline to donate - If you donate via Paypal you must have your donation in before noon on Thursday, March 18th. If you donate via check (only if you know me) you must have your envelope postmarked by Thursday March 18. If you join the pool, but submit your donation after March 18th, your winnings will be forwarded to Jimmy V. Also, if you don't get an email me thanking you for your donation, that means that I have not received your donation.
6.Enter with your Actual Name - It's VERY IMPORTANT that when you create the name of your entry for our Yahoo site, you enter your actual name. Otherwise, I will delete you. It is a severe pain in the ass trying to keep track of who everyone is when people are not using their actual names. So, if your name is Keith Mangas, just create your entry name to be Keith Mangas. If you feel absolutely compelled to include some kind of nickname, as my father does, then put it in quotes between your first and last names. Got it Harold "Golden Balls" Barend? Also, if I do not know you, you must email me at davebarend@yahoo.com prior to joining to let me know who you are. If there is a entry in our pool whose name I do not recognize, I will delete it.
7. NO Multiple Entries - 1 entry per person. BUT if you really want to submit multiple entries, then convince someone else you know to join and make the picks for that person. You might also want to try to convince that person to give you the $ if you win.
8.Friends/Recruits - Feel free to get your friends, family members or whoever else you know to join the pool. But please make sure they realize that if they join they need to email me and let me know who they are or they will be deleted. Also, don't just forward other people the password and group id#. Make sure they get all of the rules.
9.Advertising - if you want to advertise on my site, send me an email and we'll work out something.
10. How to Join our Yahoo group site - Though I have listed idiot proof steps to join the Yahoo site, many of you should be able to figure it out at http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1. Go to join group. The group id # is 11594. The password is swish - (the name of the transvestite in Fastbreak.) Please remember that when you enter your "Bracket Name" to use your actual name. You also might want to remember to sign back in to the site after Sunday March 14 - so you can make your picks.
Idiot Proof instruction on joining the Yahoo Group
(1) Go to http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1. OR you can go to Yahoo, click on sport, click on fantasy, then click on Tourney Pick'em '10.
(2) Click on “Join a Group” (Not “create a group”)
(3) Click on “Join Group” (different screen from step 2)
(4) Enter your own personal Yahoo ID and Yahoo password on right side from your own personal Yahoo account. Note that these are NOT the same as the ones list below for entering our group. COMMON MISTAKE – is entering the info to join the site. Try not to make that mistake.
(5) If you do not have your own personal Yahoo account click on "Sign Up" under "Don't have a Yahoo! ID?" Otherwise, go to step (6).
(5b)Enter the requested personal info (name & your creation of an id and password, & code) on the page.
(5c) Write down your personal id and password then click on "agree" to the terms then click on “create my account”.
(5d) Click on “continue” to Yahoo Sports on right side of page.
(6) Enter our group id# 11594 and our password swish - (the name of the transvestite in Fastbreak.) . (DO Not enter your personal Yahoo id and password.) Click on “save and continue”.
(7) Enter your actual full name as your "bracket name". Please NO NICKNAMES!! I will delete entries that do not comply.
(8) Click on the box next to “Terms of Service”
(9) Determine whether you want to enter Yahoo's separate contest for $1mil - if so, enter the requested info and accept terms. If you don’t need the $1,000,000 then I’d say you probably could afford to donate $25 bucks to the pot.
(10) Hit submit (lower left corner) – You are now in our group.
(11) “I don’t see my name!!” - Your name might not appear because the initial screen only shows 10 entrants. Click on standings. Ahh – there’s your name.
(12) Click on your name. The Midwest region appears. Click on the the team you want to win each game of the first 4 rounds. Then click on Save and Continue. Do the same for the next 3 regions and then for the final 4.
(13) Make sure you Save your Picks – Every year someone fails to do so. Every year that person actually wanted me to allow them to enter their picks after the games had been played. So every year I'm reminded me of an episode of Cheers where Sam thought he was doing Woody a favor by not placing a ridiculous sports bet, but the long shot won. Sam then had the following conversation with Diane.
Diane: So, why don't you go to the...
Sam: Bookie.
Diane: ...bookie and tell him that you honestly intended to wager on the winning teams and see if he won't give you the money.
Sam: That's a good idea. While I'm at it why don't I just tell him that I meant to bet on all the winning teams since 1975?
If you just save your picks then we don’t have to have that same conversation.
Take it easy,
Dave
Friday, March 5, 2010
Rankings & Irrelevant Comments - week 18
I feel compelled to inform you that my beloved St. Bonaventure Bonnies are mentioned on page 27 of this week’s Sports Illustrated. You should really check it out. Well, after you read week 18 of my Hopefully Humorous Rankings.
Top 10 -
1.Syracuse – During ESPN’s telecast of Saturday’s game from the Carrier Dome, they kept showing a dancing, overweight, middle-aged guy who had achieved a modicum of fame in the 80s. They called him the “Dome Ranger.” I kind of think a better nickname would have been “Digger.”
2.Kansas – Thanks to a great game from Obi Muonelo, Oklahoma State knocked off the Jayhawks this past weekend. I have to say the reporters showed great restraint when interviewing Muonelo after the big win. Not once did anyone ask, “So Obi, do you think the force was with you?”
3.Kentucky - The Wildcats went to Tennessee and got knocked off. The same fate befell Kansas when they went to Tennessee. So it seems like the Volunteers just need one more accomplishment to be considered the favorite to win the Tourney. Beat Syracuse? No. Convince the NCAA to move the Final 4 to Tennessee.
4. West Virginia – The current Mountaineer mascot is a very attractive female student. I don’t think that’s going to help rid West Virginia of its back woods image. I mean, they finally find a good-looking woman in that state and then they dress her up as a man.
5.Villanova – For $5 you can buy a headband that says, “I love Villanova Hoops”. Or for free, you can get a marker and write on your forehead, “I’m a Dork”.
6. Kansas State – I just learned that the purple clad K-State Wildcats are one of only 3 Division 1 teams that have a single official color. There’s Syracuse whose one color is obviously orange. And also Harvard, whose one color is obviously - dollar bill green.
7. Ohio State – In December, Evan Turner fell during an attempted slam-dunk and broke 2 vertebrae. Today he’s not only back playing, but is a front-runner for player of the year. Truly fantastic. Especially in the eyes of conservative commentator Glenn Beck. He believes Turner’s recovery is definitive evidence that there is no need for national health care.
8. Purdue – ESPN included Robbie Hummel’s season ending injury amongst the “Breaking News” on its scroll. I’m amazed ESPN considered that breaking news. Usually they reserve that for extremely important events. Like when Mel Kiper Jr. creates a new list of the top 5 tackles.
9.Duke – The Blue Devils may end up facing Florida State in the ACC Tournament. The Seminoles center, Soloman Alabi (pronounced A-lah-be) is one of my favorites. I’ve even gone so far as to write a song about him. Here’s what I have so far:
“A-lah be, A-lah be, A-lah A-lah A-lah be. A-lah be on the next level. A-lah be rockin over that bass treble.”
I’m telling you, it’s going to be a hit. I gotta feeling.
10. New Mexico – New Mexico’s coach got into a bit of a confrontation with a player on BYU. For perspective on whether the coach should be punished who did ESPN turn to? Bobby Knight. You can actually read Knight’s response on ESPN.com. If instead you’re looking for something less predictable, check out Rush Limbaugh’s current opinion on the Obama Administration.
Take it easy,
Dave
Top 10 -
1.Syracuse – During ESPN’s telecast of Saturday’s game from the Carrier Dome, they kept showing a dancing, overweight, middle-aged guy who had achieved a modicum of fame in the 80s. They called him the “Dome Ranger.” I kind of think a better nickname would have been “Digger.”
2.Kansas – Thanks to a great game from Obi Muonelo, Oklahoma State knocked off the Jayhawks this past weekend. I have to say the reporters showed great restraint when interviewing Muonelo after the big win. Not once did anyone ask, “So Obi, do you think the force was with you?”
3.Kentucky - The Wildcats went to Tennessee and got knocked off. The same fate befell Kansas when they went to Tennessee. So it seems like the Volunteers just need one more accomplishment to be considered the favorite to win the Tourney. Beat Syracuse? No. Convince the NCAA to move the Final 4 to Tennessee.
4. West Virginia – The current Mountaineer mascot is a very attractive female student. I don’t think that’s going to help rid West Virginia of its back woods image. I mean, they finally find a good-looking woman in that state and then they dress her up as a man.
5.Villanova – For $5 you can buy a headband that says, “I love Villanova Hoops”. Or for free, you can get a marker and write on your forehead, “I’m a Dork”.
6. Kansas State – I just learned that the purple clad K-State Wildcats are one of only 3 Division 1 teams that have a single official color. There’s Syracuse whose one color is obviously orange. And also Harvard, whose one color is obviously - dollar bill green.
7. Ohio State – In December, Evan Turner fell during an attempted slam-dunk and broke 2 vertebrae. Today he’s not only back playing, but is a front-runner for player of the year. Truly fantastic. Especially in the eyes of conservative commentator Glenn Beck. He believes Turner’s recovery is definitive evidence that there is no need for national health care.
8. Purdue – ESPN included Robbie Hummel’s season ending injury amongst the “Breaking News” on its scroll. I’m amazed ESPN considered that breaking news. Usually they reserve that for extremely important events. Like when Mel Kiper Jr. creates a new list of the top 5 tackles.
9.Duke – The Blue Devils may end up facing Florida State in the ACC Tournament. The Seminoles center, Soloman Alabi (pronounced A-lah-be) is one of my favorites. I’ve even gone so far as to write a song about him. Here’s what I have so far:
“A-lah be, A-lah be, A-lah A-lah A-lah be. A-lah be on the next level. A-lah be rockin over that bass treble.”
I’m telling you, it’s going to be a hit. I gotta feeling.
10. New Mexico – New Mexico’s coach got into a bit of a confrontation with a player on BYU. For perspective on whether the coach should be punished who did ESPN turn to? Bobby Knight. You can actually read Knight’s response on ESPN.com. If instead you’re looking for something less predictable, check out Rush Limbaugh’s current opinion on the Obama Administration.
Take it easy,
Dave
Friday, February 26, 2010
Rankings & Irrelevant Comments - week 17
Below is week 17 of my Hopefully Humorous Rankings. Last week I had an unprecedented number of hits on this site. Which makes me wonder, what is it about davebarendscollegehoophumor.blogspot.com that makes people think that there might be porn?
Top 10 -
1.Kansas – Due to his shooting slump, Sherron Collins was recently asked if he is in good health. He responded, “I’m great. I’m 100%. When you miss shots everyone thinks there’s something wrong with you.” Apparently Sherron would prefer that everyone just think that he stinks.
2.Kentucky – The Wildcats would have lost to Vandy had Ogilvy hit a wide-open last second shot. I’m guessing the reason he missed was because he arm was still sore. You know, from leaning into that pitch against the Yankees during his stint on the Bad News Bears.
3.Purdue – During a recent Boilermakers’ home game, ESPN announcer, Steve Lavin, allowed fans to pour popcorn into his mouth as a tribute to Purdue grad Orville Redenbacher. I hope he continues these tributes to famous alums when he goes to University of Illinois – the alma mater of Hugh Hefner.
4.Syracuse – ESPN’s Game Day will be at the Carrier Dome this weekend. Last week they were at University of Washington’s Hec Edmundson Pavillion. That begs the relatively unique question: “Who the heck is Hec?”
Clarence “Hec” Edmundson coached Washington from 1920-1947 and is credited with creating the fast break. He would have been a great choice to star in the less-than blockbuster movie “Fast Break”. The part went to Gabe Kaplan who had a bit of an advantage over Hec. He wasn’t dead.
5.Duke – I’m thinking of buying one of those T-shirts Duke is selling to commemorate Mike Krzyzewski’s 1000th game. It’s not that I’m a big fan of Coach K. I just want some evidence to prove to my wife that somebody does in fact watch more college basketball than me.
6.Kansas State - Some people believe Coach Frank Martin’s physical confrontation with one of his players is connected to his Cuban heritage. That’s ridiculous. First of all, he barely touched the kid. Second of all, at no point did he pull out a gun and say, “Let me introduce you to my little friend.”
7.West Virginia – The Mountaineers were the latest victim of Coach Jim Calhoun’s resurgent UConn Huskies. I just learned that Calhoun used to be a game show host. Given his plethora of recent health problems and surgeries, he’d be the perfect guy if they ever made a show out of the game “Operation”. Not as the host, but as the game board.
8.Villanova – During half-time of Sunday’s Villanova-Pitt game, CBS began its “Countdown To The Tournament.” That’s actually just an abbreviated title of the countdown. The full title is; “Countdown To The Tournament That CBS Ruins By Mandating Timeouts Every 2.5 Minutes.”
9.Ohio State – The president of Ohio State is looking to make some big changes. If I were in charge, I’d get rid of the mascot. Because his name is Brutus.
10.Butler –On Saturday, ESPN’s announcers noted that the Final 4 is taking place in Indianapolis – also the location of Butler’s campus. They then agreed that it would, therefore, be ironic if Butler made the Final 4 this year. It is somewhat amazing that a strong grasp of the English language is not a prerequisite to obtaining a job as an ESPN commentator. Actually, it’s somewhat ironic.
As always, next set of rankings coming next Friday.
Take it easy,
Dave
Top 10 -
1.Kansas – Due to his shooting slump, Sherron Collins was recently asked if he is in good health. He responded, “I’m great. I’m 100%. When you miss shots everyone thinks there’s something wrong with you.” Apparently Sherron would prefer that everyone just think that he stinks.
2.Kentucky – The Wildcats would have lost to Vandy had Ogilvy hit a wide-open last second shot. I’m guessing the reason he missed was because he arm was still sore. You know, from leaning into that pitch against the Yankees during his stint on the Bad News Bears.
3.Purdue – During a recent Boilermakers’ home game, ESPN announcer, Steve Lavin, allowed fans to pour popcorn into his mouth as a tribute to Purdue grad Orville Redenbacher. I hope he continues these tributes to famous alums when he goes to University of Illinois – the alma mater of Hugh Hefner.
4.Syracuse – ESPN’s Game Day will be at the Carrier Dome this weekend. Last week they were at University of Washington’s Hec Edmundson Pavillion. That begs the relatively unique question: “Who the heck is Hec?”
Clarence “Hec” Edmundson coached Washington from 1920-1947 and is credited with creating the fast break. He would have been a great choice to star in the less-than blockbuster movie “Fast Break”. The part went to Gabe Kaplan who had a bit of an advantage over Hec. He wasn’t dead.
5.Duke – I’m thinking of buying one of those T-shirts Duke is selling to commemorate Mike Krzyzewski’s 1000th game. It’s not that I’m a big fan of Coach K. I just want some evidence to prove to my wife that somebody does in fact watch more college basketball than me.
6.Kansas State - Some people believe Coach Frank Martin’s physical confrontation with one of his players is connected to his Cuban heritage. That’s ridiculous. First of all, he barely touched the kid. Second of all, at no point did he pull out a gun and say, “Let me introduce you to my little friend.”
7.West Virginia – The Mountaineers were the latest victim of Coach Jim Calhoun’s resurgent UConn Huskies. I just learned that Calhoun used to be a game show host. Given his plethora of recent health problems and surgeries, he’d be the perfect guy if they ever made a show out of the game “Operation”. Not as the host, but as the game board.
8.Villanova – During half-time of Sunday’s Villanova-Pitt game, CBS began its “Countdown To The Tournament.” That’s actually just an abbreviated title of the countdown. The full title is; “Countdown To The Tournament That CBS Ruins By Mandating Timeouts Every 2.5 Minutes.”
9.Ohio State – The president of Ohio State is looking to make some big changes. If I were in charge, I’d get rid of the mascot. Because his name is Brutus.
10.Butler –On Saturday, ESPN’s announcers noted that the Final 4 is taking place in Indianapolis – also the location of Butler’s campus. They then agreed that it would, therefore, be ironic if Butler made the Final 4 this year. It is somewhat amazing that a strong grasp of the English language is not a prerequisite to obtaining a job as an ESPN commentator. Actually, it’s somewhat ironic.
As always, next set of rankings coming next Friday.
Take it easy,
Dave
Friday, February 19, 2010
Rankings & Irrelevant Comments - week 16
Below is Week 16 of my Hopefully Humorous Rankings. However, it’s not the rankings that are humorous, it’s the comments afterward. Sadly, that might not be clear.
Top 10 –
1.Kansas – Coach Self forced Tyshawn Taylor to remove his Facebook site after he made a couple of really stupid postings. This has got the folks at Facebook worried. If people realize that they shouldn’t put up stupid posts there’ll be nothing left.
2.Kentucky – Coach Cal is a bit afraid of playing at Vandy because his players might forget that in that arena the coaches sit on the baseline. I guess I could see the following mishap: Calipari calls “play #1”, but John Wall runs “play #2” Why? Because he sees some fat fan on the sideline ordering two Buds.
3.Villanova – The Wildcats just lost to UConn who had been on a tailspin since Coach Jim Calhoun left for health reasons too personal to disclose. This is the same guy who previously shared his prostate issues with the world. What could possibly be more embarrassing? My guess: an accidental overdose of Viagra.
4.Purdue – ESPN’s bracketology expert, Joe Lunardi has Purdue as a #2 seed. What the hell are bracketology experts, you ask? People who try to project the NCAA Tournament brackets. In other words, they’re geeks who follow college hoops. You can actually take a bracketology course taught by Lunardi. He’ll even sign your certificate upon completion. Which would look great next to your Mark Hamill signed lightsaber.
5.Syracuse –An intentional foul was called on SU’s Kris Joseph right near the end of the Louisville game. Apparently it’s okay to foul at the end of the game, but only if you have the ability to act like you’re not doing so intentionally. I understand Boeheim’s frustration, but he overreacted by immediately adding a coaching position for James Lipton.
6.Duke – Venezuela native and Maryland guard, Greivis Vasqueaz, declared that Duke’s arena was his home. He and his Terps then went to Duke and got blown out. I believe that when these facts are considered together there can be only one conclusion: Venezuela blows.
7.Kansas State –Jason Pullen’s Amish-esq beard is now a craze amongst the K-State student body. It’s nice to see that style in the state of Kansas has finally caught up to that of the Amish.
8. West Virginia - The game between Pittsburgh and West Virginia was billed as the “Backyard Brawl”. A clever name, but it might have some negative marketing ramifications. I mean, do the folks at West Virginia really want to emphasize their proximity to the city of Pittsburgh?
9.Gonzaga – After the Jesuits decided to name a college after Saint Aloysius Gonzaga, Father Cataldo rejected their suggestion to name the school Aloysius College. His rumored reasoning: People would never remember how to correctly pronounce Aloysius.
10. Georgetown – During the Hoyas’ game on Thursday, I saw a woman in the stands wearing a pink hat with the big Georgetown “G” on the front. She needs to either get rid of that hat or her boyfriend. He appeared to be poking her in the forehead in hopes of providing a climactic experience.
As always, next set of rankings coming next Friday.
Take it easy,
Dave
Top 10 –
1.Kansas – Coach Self forced Tyshawn Taylor to remove his Facebook site after he made a couple of really stupid postings. This has got the folks at Facebook worried. If people realize that they shouldn’t put up stupid posts there’ll be nothing left.
2.Kentucky – Coach Cal is a bit afraid of playing at Vandy because his players might forget that in that arena the coaches sit on the baseline. I guess I could see the following mishap: Calipari calls “play #1”, but John Wall runs “play #2” Why? Because he sees some fat fan on the sideline ordering two Buds.
3.Villanova – The Wildcats just lost to UConn who had been on a tailspin since Coach Jim Calhoun left for health reasons too personal to disclose. This is the same guy who previously shared his prostate issues with the world. What could possibly be more embarrassing? My guess: an accidental overdose of Viagra.
4.Purdue – ESPN’s bracketology expert, Joe Lunardi has Purdue as a #2 seed. What the hell are bracketology experts, you ask? People who try to project the NCAA Tournament brackets. In other words, they’re geeks who follow college hoops. You can actually take a bracketology course taught by Lunardi. He’ll even sign your certificate upon completion. Which would look great next to your Mark Hamill signed lightsaber.
5.Syracuse –An intentional foul was called on SU’s Kris Joseph right near the end of the Louisville game. Apparently it’s okay to foul at the end of the game, but only if you have the ability to act like you’re not doing so intentionally. I understand Boeheim’s frustration, but he overreacted by immediately adding a coaching position for James Lipton.
6.Duke – Venezuela native and Maryland guard, Greivis Vasqueaz, declared that Duke’s arena was his home. He and his Terps then went to Duke and got blown out. I believe that when these facts are considered together there can be only one conclusion: Venezuela blows.
7.Kansas State –Jason Pullen’s Amish-esq beard is now a craze amongst the K-State student body. It’s nice to see that style in the state of Kansas has finally caught up to that of the Amish.
8. West Virginia - The game between Pittsburgh and West Virginia was billed as the “Backyard Brawl”. A clever name, but it might have some negative marketing ramifications. I mean, do the folks at West Virginia really want to emphasize their proximity to the city of Pittsburgh?
9.Gonzaga – After the Jesuits decided to name a college after Saint Aloysius Gonzaga, Father Cataldo rejected their suggestion to name the school Aloysius College. His rumored reasoning: People would never remember how to correctly pronounce Aloysius.
10. Georgetown – During the Hoyas’ game on Thursday, I saw a woman in the stands wearing a pink hat with the big Georgetown “G” on the front. She needs to either get rid of that hat or her boyfriend. He appeared to be poking her in the forehead in hopes of providing a climactic experience.
As always, next set of rankings coming next Friday.
Take it easy,
Dave
Friday, February 12, 2010
Rankings & Irrelevant Comments - week 15
My Valentine’s Day gift to you: a joke about college hoops. Yes, I realize that there are 10 attempts at humor below. Just consider the one that comes closest to making you laugh to be the gift.
Top 10 -
1.Kansas – Cole Aldrich is a regional finalist for the College Sports Information Directors of America’s Academic All-American team. To make the team he’ll need to keep up his stellar performance on the court and in the classroom. A task almost a daunting as figuring out what in the hell is the College Sports Information Directors of America.
2.Syracuse – Not too long ago Syracuse used to be called the Orangemen. They got rid of that name due to a fear that it might offend some people - like George Hamilton.
3.Kentucky – Demarcus Cousins had a streak of 6 double-doubles in a row. I also had double-doubles in my last 6 pick-up games. Though I’m not sure if you’re supposed to count turnovers and fouls.
4.West Virginia – Though their official nickname is the Mountaineers, WV fans will sometimes refer to the team as the Eers. The abbreviation doesn’t seem to work on t-shirts that say, “I’m A Big Eers Fan.” I think those t-shirts would be much bigger sellers if the official nickname was the Mountainboobs.
5.Villanova – Coach Jay Wright is taking some flak for refusing to wear an all pink suit for this Saturday’s “Pink Out”. He is, however, up for singing “Glitter In The Air” while hanging upside down from the rafters.
6.Purdue – The Boilermaker’s should make “Ain’t No Stopping Us Now” the team’s theme song. Why? 2 reasons: (1) Their offense is at times completely unstoppable, and (2) Their web site is sponsored by Toyota.
7.Duke – I’ve always associated Duke with academic excellence. But yesterday I came across some strong evidence to the contrary: A Duke Snuggie.
8.Gerogetown – Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was at the Hoyas game this past weekend. Her eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her head when Monore made an incredible pass. And when Wright made a lay-up. And when the coach called time out. And when the ref blew his whistle. And when a player dribbled the ball. And when . . .
9.Kansas State – K-State’s web site has freshman phenom Wally Judge’s major listed as “undecided.” I think that’s a misprint. It should say “unnecessary.”
10.Michigan State – Much like Stanford, Michigan State’s logo is a big “S”. And much like Stanford, Michigan State . . . nope, the logo is pretty much the only similarity between Stanford and Michigan State.
As always, next set of rankings coming next Friday.
Take it easy,
Dave
Top 10 -
1.Kansas – Cole Aldrich is a regional finalist for the College Sports Information Directors of America’s Academic All-American team. To make the team he’ll need to keep up his stellar performance on the court and in the classroom. A task almost a daunting as figuring out what in the hell is the College Sports Information Directors of America.
2.Syracuse – Not too long ago Syracuse used to be called the Orangemen. They got rid of that name due to a fear that it might offend some people - like George Hamilton.
3.Kentucky – Demarcus Cousins had a streak of 6 double-doubles in a row. I also had double-doubles in my last 6 pick-up games. Though I’m not sure if you’re supposed to count turnovers and fouls.
4.West Virginia – Though their official nickname is the Mountaineers, WV fans will sometimes refer to the team as the Eers. The abbreviation doesn’t seem to work on t-shirts that say, “I’m A Big Eers Fan.” I think those t-shirts would be much bigger sellers if the official nickname was the Mountainboobs.
5.Villanova – Coach Jay Wright is taking some flak for refusing to wear an all pink suit for this Saturday’s “Pink Out”. He is, however, up for singing “Glitter In The Air” while hanging upside down from the rafters.
6.Purdue – The Boilermaker’s should make “Ain’t No Stopping Us Now” the team’s theme song. Why? 2 reasons: (1) Their offense is at times completely unstoppable, and (2) Their web site is sponsored by Toyota.
7.Duke – I’ve always associated Duke with academic excellence. But yesterday I came across some strong evidence to the contrary: A Duke Snuggie.
8.Gerogetown – Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was at the Hoyas game this past weekend. Her eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her head when Monore made an incredible pass. And when Wright made a lay-up. And when the coach called time out. And when the ref blew his whistle. And when a player dribbled the ball. And when . . .
9.Kansas State – K-State’s web site has freshman phenom Wally Judge’s major listed as “undecided.” I think that’s a misprint. It should say “unnecessary.”
10.Michigan State – Much like Stanford, Michigan State’s logo is a big “S”. And much like Stanford, Michigan State . . . nope, the logo is pretty much the only similarity between Stanford and Michigan State.
As always, next set of rankings coming next Friday.
Take it easy,
Dave
Friday, February 5, 2010
Rankings & Irrelevant Comments - week 14
Below is week 14 of my Hopefully Humorous Rankings. Just to be clear it’s “week 14” not “weak 14”. Well, you know, hopefully.
Top 10
1.Kansas – The Jayhawks won at Kansas State’s court called the “Octagon of Doom”. An especially impressive win given that all of KU’s prior games were on rectangles.
2.Villanova – Some folks think that Junior Antonio Pena is destined for greatness because he was born on July 20th – the day that man first walked on the moon. Others think differently. Those would be people who know that I was also born on July 20th.
3.Kentucky – The Wildcats play in Rupp Arena, named after Adolph Rupp who (1) was unquestionably one of the best college basketball coaches of all time and (2) was unquestionably one of the last people named Adolph.
4.Syracuse – Go to Google and start typing in “Jim Boeheim”. As you are typing you will notice that Google lists “Jim Boeheim Wife” as it’s second suggestion. Click on that. Now try to come up with a reason why that wasn’t the first suggestion.
5.Michigan State – In a game last weekend Durrell Summers scored on an alley-oop to start both the first half and the second half. I couldn’t find out if that had been done before, but I did learn that ally-oop was derived from the French “allez hop” – the popular cry of a circus acrobat about to land. Substantially more popular than “allez plop” – the cry of a circus acrobat about to plummet.
6.West Virginia - Over the past few weeks fans at WV games have been throwing objects at the refs and opposing players. Coach Huggins can’t understand how the fans could be so stupid. Apparently he didn’t realize that when coaching at West Virginia there would be fans from West Virginia.
7.Purdue – The Boilermakers and the rest of the Big 10 may be joined by Pitt in the near future. This would make for a total of 12 teams in that conference. So is it finally time for a name change? Heck no. Just go with a very large font. Or have it appear as “The Big 12”, but tell everyone it’s pronounced “The Big 10.”
8. Georgetown – Hoyas Coach John Thompson III joined other coaches across the country last week and wore sneakers during his game to raise awareness for cancer. Unfortunately, I don’t think it was a big success. Probably because most people are already aware of cancer.
9.Kansas State – McGruder hit two pressure packed free throws to send Saturday’s game into overtime. Too bad he couldn’t have had that same composure later – you know, when he choked trying to defuse a bomb on Saturday Night Live.
10.Duke – A few years ago Coach Krzyewski wrote a book called “Leading with The Heart” and subtitled “Successful strategies for basketball, business and life.” Unfortunately he did not include any successful strategies for spelling and pronouncing Krzyzewski.
As always, next set of rankings coming next Friday.
Take it easy,
Dave
Top 10
1.Kansas – The Jayhawks won at Kansas State’s court called the “Octagon of Doom”. An especially impressive win given that all of KU’s prior games were on rectangles.
2.Villanova – Some folks think that Junior Antonio Pena is destined for greatness because he was born on July 20th – the day that man first walked on the moon. Others think differently. Those would be people who know that I was also born on July 20th.
3.Kentucky – The Wildcats play in Rupp Arena, named after Adolph Rupp who (1) was unquestionably one of the best college basketball coaches of all time and (2) was unquestionably one of the last people named Adolph.
4.Syracuse – Go to Google and start typing in “Jim Boeheim”. As you are typing you will notice that Google lists “Jim Boeheim Wife” as it’s second suggestion. Click on that. Now try to come up with a reason why that wasn’t the first suggestion.
5.Michigan State – In a game last weekend Durrell Summers scored on an alley-oop to start both the first half and the second half. I couldn’t find out if that had been done before, but I did learn that ally-oop was derived from the French “allez hop” – the popular cry of a circus acrobat about to land. Substantially more popular than “allez plop” – the cry of a circus acrobat about to plummet.
6.West Virginia - Over the past few weeks fans at WV games have been throwing objects at the refs and opposing players. Coach Huggins can’t understand how the fans could be so stupid. Apparently he didn’t realize that when coaching at West Virginia there would be fans from West Virginia.
7.Purdue – The Boilermakers and the rest of the Big 10 may be joined by Pitt in the near future. This would make for a total of 12 teams in that conference. So is it finally time for a name change? Heck no. Just go with a very large font. Or have it appear as “The Big 12”, but tell everyone it’s pronounced “The Big 10.”
8. Georgetown – Hoyas Coach John Thompson III joined other coaches across the country last week and wore sneakers during his game to raise awareness for cancer. Unfortunately, I don’t think it was a big success. Probably because most people are already aware of cancer.
9.Kansas State – McGruder hit two pressure packed free throws to send Saturday’s game into overtime. Too bad he couldn’t have had that same composure later – you know, when he choked trying to defuse a bomb on Saturday Night Live.
10.Duke – A few years ago Coach Krzyewski wrote a book called “Leading with The Heart” and subtitled “Successful strategies for basketball, business and life.” Unfortunately he did not include any successful strategies for spelling and pronouncing Krzyzewski.
As always, next set of rankings coming next Friday.
Take it easy,
Dave
Friday, January 29, 2010
Rankings & Irrelevant Comments - week 13
Week 13 of my Hopefully Humorous Rankings is below. You will enjoy this immensely unless you don’t.
Top 10
1.Kansas – The Jayhawks beat Missouri in what Kansas calls “The Border Showdown”. I guess they don’t consider their games with Colorado, Nebraska and Oklahoma to be showdowns. Or, more likely, they don’t realize that they also border those states.
2.Villanova – Coach Jay Wright was once an administrative assistant with the USFL’s Philadelphia Stars. Great stepping-stone for a career coaching football, not basketball. But then again, Villanova is in the Big East.
3.Kentucky – Though DeMarcus Cousins had 16 points in a game last week it really doesn’t make him stand out on Kentucky. He also chipped two teeth in that game. And that doesn’t really make him stand out in Kentucky.
4.Syracuse – Say what you will about Jim Boeheim but . . . Actually, no but, just go ahead and say what you will about Boehiem.
5.Michigan State – Michigan State almost chose the nickname the Staters over the Spartans. The Michigan State Staters? Actually that would have been great. It would have made my beloved St. Bonaventure Bonnies seem much less pathetic.
6.Texas – After losing two in a row, Longhorns’ Coach Rick Barnes was asked what his team needed to do to start winning. His response: “More execution.” Huh. Isn’t that also the motto for the state of Texas?
7.Duke – The folks at Clemson’s Littlejohn Coliseum had to be a bit displeased with the Tiger’s blowout loss to the Dukies. And even more displeased when Dick Vitale perpetually referred to their arena as “The John”.
8.Gonzaga – 7’5” Will Foster has been averaging a little less than 7.5 minutes per game. That leads to a unique average time playing of about 1 min per foot. His coaches think he could easily double his time by working on his mobility. Either that or just grow another 7 feet 5 inches.
9. BYU – Some find it surprising that Center Chris Miles is married and has a daughter. Others find it surprising that he only has one wife.
10. Georgetown – Digger Phelps thinks that the Hoyas may be the best team in the Big East. That is hilarious. No, not that Georgetown could be that good. But that after all these years Digger is still trying to think.
As always, next set of Rankings coming next Friday.
Take it easy,
Dave
Top 10
1.Kansas – The Jayhawks beat Missouri in what Kansas calls “The Border Showdown”. I guess they don’t consider their games with Colorado, Nebraska and Oklahoma to be showdowns. Or, more likely, they don’t realize that they also border those states.
2.Villanova – Coach Jay Wright was once an administrative assistant with the USFL’s Philadelphia Stars. Great stepping-stone for a career coaching football, not basketball. But then again, Villanova is in the Big East.
3.Kentucky – Though DeMarcus Cousins had 16 points in a game last week it really doesn’t make him stand out on Kentucky. He also chipped two teeth in that game. And that doesn’t really make him stand out in Kentucky.
4.Syracuse – Say what you will about Jim Boeheim but . . . Actually, no but, just go ahead and say what you will about Boehiem.
5.Michigan State – Michigan State almost chose the nickname the Staters over the Spartans. The Michigan State Staters? Actually that would have been great. It would have made my beloved St. Bonaventure Bonnies seem much less pathetic.
6.Texas – After losing two in a row, Longhorns’ Coach Rick Barnes was asked what his team needed to do to start winning. His response: “More execution.” Huh. Isn’t that also the motto for the state of Texas?
7.Duke – The folks at Clemson’s Littlejohn Coliseum had to be a bit displeased with the Tiger’s blowout loss to the Dukies. And even more displeased when Dick Vitale perpetually referred to their arena as “The John”.
8.Gonzaga – 7’5” Will Foster has been averaging a little less than 7.5 minutes per game. That leads to a unique average time playing of about 1 min per foot. His coaches think he could easily double his time by working on his mobility. Either that or just grow another 7 feet 5 inches.
9. BYU – Some find it surprising that Center Chris Miles is married and has a daughter. Others find it surprising that he only has one wife.
10. Georgetown – Digger Phelps thinks that the Hoyas may be the best team in the Big East. That is hilarious. No, not that Georgetown could be that good. But that after all these years Digger is still trying to think.
As always, next set of Rankings coming next Friday.
Take it easy,
Dave
Friday, January 22, 2010
Rankings & Irrelevant Comments - week 12
A buddy of mine informed me that someone else in the blog-o-sphere crafts a similar top 10 rankings with comments, but doesn’t attempt to be funny. Well I guess that’s a positive – I mean, that my buddy can actually tell that I’m attempting to be funny.
Week 12 of my Hopefully Humorous Rankings are below. Enjoy.
Top 10
1.Kentucky – At CoachCal.com you can buy a shirt that has a picture on it of one of Calipari’s ties. The perfect gift for someone who wants to pretend to be the coach of UK but can’t afford a tie. Which is pretty much everyone in Kentucky.
2.Texas. In their win over Texas A&M this past week, the Longhorns shot a miserable 56% from the line and missed 3 lay-ups in the last 3 seconds of regulation. Little did I realize that I have the skills to play for Texas.
3.Kansas – The “Rock Chalk Jayhawk” chant was crafted by an English professor. So apparently KU’s English Department doesn’t place much importance on coherent speech.
4.Syracuse – The Orange just beat the Fighting Irish in ND’s new Purcell Pavilion. They named their newly refurbished arena after Morgan Stanley’s former CEO, Phillip Purcell. That makes sense. Because nobody exemplifies Christian values like an investment banker.
5.Villanova – I'm hoping the Wildcats’ upcoming game against Cincinnati is televised. Not that I really care about either team. It’s just that my pre-season guide says Cincy is coached by Mick Cronin. But every time I see them on TV, I swear they’re being coached by Scott Hamilton.
6.Duke – Coach Krzyzewski has thrown his support behind expanding the NCAA Tourney to 96 teams, which should be more than enough reason for everyone else to be against it.
7.Tennessee –Tennessee’s orange and white jerseys have led opposing fans to call the players “creamsicles”. I think the Vols should embrace that creamsicle moniker. It’s much better than the actual origin of those colors. According to UT’s website, the colors represent a little flower that grew on campus called- the daisy.
8.Kansas State – Denis Clement became a YouTube sensation due to his incredible trick shot. He threw a ball at KSU’s center court scoreboard, which then bounced off the floor and through the hoop. Amazing, but I think he can top it. To do so will require a little letter: “Dear Jerry Jones. You know that Jumbotron you bought for $42 million? Can I throw my ball at it?”
9.Gonzaga – I think I finally get it now. It’s not Gon-zah-ga, it’s Gon-ZAG-a. And it’s not Cin-der-ella, it’s O-ver-rated.
10.West Virginia – Guard Casey Mitchell actually dropped out of high school at one point to help with his mom’s cancer. His mom eventually convinced him that he should return because he needed an education. And she needed an oncologist.
As always, next set of Rankings coming next Friday.
Take it easy,
Dave
Week 12 of my Hopefully Humorous Rankings are below. Enjoy.
Top 10
1.Kentucky – At CoachCal.com you can buy a shirt that has a picture on it of one of Calipari’s ties. The perfect gift for someone who wants to pretend to be the coach of UK but can’t afford a tie. Which is pretty much everyone in Kentucky.
2.Texas. In their win over Texas A&M this past week, the Longhorns shot a miserable 56% from the line and missed 3 lay-ups in the last 3 seconds of regulation. Little did I realize that I have the skills to play for Texas.
3.Kansas – The “Rock Chalk Jayhawk” chant was crafted by an English professor. So apparently KU’s English Department doesn’t place much importance on coherent speech.
4.Syracuse – The Orange just beat the Fighting Irish in ND’s new Purcell Pavilion. They named their newly refurbished arena after Morgan Stanley’s former CEO, Phillip Purcell. That makes sense. Because nobody exemplifies Christian values like an investment banker.
5.Villanova – I'm hoping the Wildcats’ upcoming game against Cincinnati is televised. Not that I really care about either team. It’s just that my pre-season guide says Cincy is coached by Mick Cronin. But every time I see them on TV, I swear they’re being coached by Scott Hamilton.
6.Duke – Coach Krzyzewski has thrown his support behind expanding the NCAA Tourney to 96 teams, which should be more than enough reason for everyone else to be against it.
7.Tennessee –Tennessee’s orange and white jerseys have led opposing fans to call the players “creamsicles”. I think the Vols should embrace that creamsicle moniker. It’s much better than the actual origin of those colors. According to UT’s website, the colors represent a little flower that grew on campus called- the daisy.
8.Kansas State – Denis Clement became a YouTube sensation due to his incredible trick shot. He threw a ball at KSU’s center court scoreboard, which then bounced off the floor and through the hoop. Amazing, but I think he can top it. To do so will require a little letter: “Dear Jerry Jones. You know that Jumbotron you bought for $42 million? Can I throw my ball at it?”
9.Gonzaga – I think I finally get it now. It’s not Gon-zah-ga, it’s Gon-ZAG-a. And it’s not Cin-der-ella, it’s O-ver-rated.
10.West Virginia – Guard Casey Mitchell actually dropped out of high school at one point to help with his mom’s cancer. His mom eventually convinced him that he should return because he needed an education. And she needed an oncologist.
As always, next set of Rankings coming next Friday.
Take it easy,
Dave
Friday, January 15, 2010
Rankings & Irrelevant Comments - week 11
Less than 2 months till Selection Sunday. And if the NCAA increases the Tourney to 96 teams the selection show might just take 2 months. Week 11’s Hopefully Humorous Rankings is below.
Top 10
1.Texas –Avery Bradley was a McDonalds All-American, a Jordan All-American and an ESPN top 100 recruit. Impressive. Yet when he got to Texas he took #0 to remind himself that he hadn’t really accomplished anything. Made me think about putting a zero on my vintage St. Bonaventure University jersey to remind me of my lack of accomplishments. Or I could just look at the emblazoned “St. Bonaventure”.
2.Kansas – I swear that when I watch Cole Aldrich play he always seems to have half his mouth guard hanging out. Though I guess he could just be in desperate need of some major orthodontic work.
3.Kentucky - Coach Cal is credited with perfecting the “dribble drive”. Similarly, I deserve credit for perfecting the “non-dribble drive” during my stellar CYO career. Unfortunately, people didn’t call it the “non-dribble drive”. They just called it traveling.
4.Villanova – Mauphatou Yarou contracted Hepatitis, but has not lost a single pound. Great. So now it’s back to cutting carbs, when I thought all I had to do was get Hepatitis.
5.Syracuse – Basketball Times recently labeled Jim Boeheim as the “Nostradamus of the Hardcourt.” I’d say that makes sense. Much like Nostradamus, Boeheim has duped many people into believing that he knows what he’s talking about.
6.Purdue – The Boilermakers suffered their first loss this past week to Wisconsin. The Badgers might have suffered a bigger loss when Jon Lever, their #1 rebounder and #2 scorer, broke his wrist. Though likely out for the season, he was quoted as saying, “I plan on being as big a part of this team as ever.” And I always thought rebounding and scoring were big parts of a basketball team.
7.Duke – There is an autographed photo of Jay Bilas being auctioned on Duke’s homepage. Yes, that in itself should be sufficiently humorous. But for those of you who have the Doug Gottlieb photo, you can now complete your set of people who have inexplicably parlayed marginal college basketball careers, into jobs as ESPN analysts.
8.Michigan State – I used to love watching hoops with a bunch of buddies. Now, I watch the games with my wife and 2 daughters – a vastly different experience. How so? Well, this past week I was forced to engage in the following debate: Was MSU’s arena, the Breslin Center, named after Jack Breslin a former stellar athlete. Or, was it named after Abigail Breslin, the star of “Kit Kittredge – American Girl.”
9. West Virginia – Joe Mazulla currently starts for the Mountaineers even though he is injured and cannot raise his left arm above his head. Tells you that Mazulla is pretty good. Then again, it might just tell you that his back-up stinks.
10. Tennessee – Last week 4 guys on UT got arrested. The remaining players then won two straight, including a victory over then #1 ranked Kansas. Folks at Tennessee are now convinced that the team is better without those 4 guys. They might even have a shot at winning the Tournament. They just need to have a few more guys get arrested.
As always, next set of rankings coming next Friday.
Take it easy,
Dave
Top 10
1.Texas –Avery Bradley was a McDonalds All-American, a Jordan All-American and an ESPN top 100 recruit. Impressive. Yet when he got to Texas he took #0 to remind himself that he hadn’t really accomplished anything. Made me think about putting a zero on my vintage St. Bonaventure University jersey to remind me of my lack of accomplishments. Or I could just look at the emblazoned “St. Bonaventure”.
2.Kansas – I swear that when I watch Cole Aldrich play he always seems to have half his mouth guard hanging out. Though I guess he could just be in desperate need of some major orthodontic work.
3.Kentucky - Coach Cal is credited with perfecting the “dribble drive”. Similarly, I deserve credit for perfecting the “non-dribble drive” during my stellar CYO career. Unfortunately, people didn’t call it the “non-dribble drive”. They just called it traveling.
4.Villanova – Mauphatou Yarou contracted Hepatitis, but has not lost a single pound. Great. So now it’s back to cutting carbs, when I thought all I had to do was get Hepatitis.
5.Syracuse – Basketball Times recently labeled Jim Boeheim as the “Nostradamus of the Hardcourt.” I’d say that makes sense. Much like Nostradamus, Boeheim has duped many people into believing that he knows what he’s talking about.
6.Purdue – The Boilermakers suffered their first loss this past week to Wisconsin. The Badgers might have suffered a bigger loss when Jon Lever, their #1 rebounder and #2 scorer, broke his wrist. Though likely out for the season, he was quoted as saying, “I plan on being as big a part of this team as ever.” And I always thought rebounding and scoring were big parts of a basketball team.
7.Duke – There is an autographed photo of Jay Bilas being auctioned on Duke’s homepage. Yes, that in itself should be sufficiently humorous. But for those of you who have the Doug Gottlieb photo, you can now complete your set of people who have inexplicably parlayed marginal college basketball careers, into jobs as ESPN analysts.
8.Michigan State – I used to love watching hoops with a bunch of buddies. Now, I watch the games with my wife and 2 daughters – a vastly different experience. How so? Well, this past week I was forced to engage in the following debate: Was MSU’s arena, the Breslin Center, named after Jack Breslin a former stellar athlete. Or, was it named after Abigail Breslin, the star of “Kit Kittredge – American Girl.”
9. West Virginia – Joe Mazulla currently starts for the Mountaineers even though he is injured and cannot raise his left arm above his head. Tells you that Mazulla is pretty good. Then again, it might just tell you that his back-up stinks.
10. Tennessee – Last week 4 guys on UT got arrested. The remaining players then won two straight, including a victory over then #1 ranked Kansas. Folks at Tennessee are now convinced that the team is better without those 4 guys. They might even have a shot at winning the Tournament. They just need to have a few more guys get arrested.
As always, next set of rankings coming next Friday.
Take it easy,
Dave
Friday, January 8, 2010
Rankings & Irrelevant Comments - week 10
Week 10 of my Hopefully Humorous Rankings is below. So let’s see. 10 weeks times 10 jokes per week is just about 100 jokes. That equals 1 joke per each of my 100 regular readers – if I actually had 100 regular readers.
Top 10
1.Kansas - The Jayhawks should have an easy time beating Tennessee this week given that 4 Volunteer players are currently seeing more time behind bars than on the court. This past week cops pulled over a rental car that contained 4 guys on UT, as well as a couple of guns and some weed. How can that happen? Seriously, how do 4 people ranging from 6’0” to 6’10” fit in the same car?
2.Texas - When asked about freshman walk-on Dean Malchionni, Longhorns Assistant Coach Chris Ogden said, "His voice is going to be one of his biggest strengths on the team." In other words, Dean can’t shoot, pass or dribble to save his life, but he’s the go-to-guy at the Taco Bell Drive-Thru.
3.Kentucky – During the UK-Louisville game, Coach Cal wore a checkered tie. It really didn’t seem to match his suit. But it did match his past.
4.Purdue – I just learned that the Boilermaker’s mascot is named “Purdue Pete”. Couldn’t they just call him Pete? I’d say the Purdue part is pretty obvious from the big P on his hat. And from the word Purdue on his chest.
5.Duke - Miles Plumlee is a sophomore at Duke. Mason Plumlee is a freshman. So, this begs the question, could the Plumlee parents possibly have come up with more prep school-perfect names starting with M? Answer: yes. Miles and Mason have a younger brother named Madison.
6.Villanova – Edward Hunsinger, an All-American at Notre Dame and know as the Little General of the Four Horsemen, came up with Villanova’s nickname of the Wildcats during his time as an assistant coach. Though I’m sure he appreciates the credit, I bet he wishes the school went with his first choice - “The Notre Dame Rejects.”
7.Syracuse – Two years ago Wes Johnson had an amazing year while playing for Iowa State. He was rated the #2 freshman in the Big 12. He then opted to sit out a whole year so he could transfer to SU. Why? Nobody really knows. Such irrationality should have prompted testing by the NCAA. No, not for drug use. But to see if Wes is actually a woman.
8. West Virginia - Just be before New Year’s Day, a lawyer from Tennessee donated one million dollars to the WV basketball team. Folks at UT think he should have given the money to his hometown team. Guess he figured the dough wouldn’t help the Vols all that much, as it would barely cover a year’s worth of bail.
9. North Carolina – The Tar Heels lost a nail biter to the College of Charleston this week. Somehow the Cougar’s coach, Bobby Cremins, remained calm throughout the whole game. He was so relaxed that I actually think I saw one of his hairs turn black.
10 Kansas State – With a mere four splashes of purple, the folks at Kansas State were able to (1) create a Wildcat logo and (2) deal with the team’s myriad psych issues with a readily available Rorschach test.
As always, next set of rankings coming next Friday.
Take it easy,
Dave
Top 10
1.Kansas - The Jayhawks should have an easy time beating Tennessee this week given that 4 Volunteer players are currently seeing more time behind bars than on the court. This past week cops pulled over a rental car that contained 4 guys on UT, as well as a couple of guns and some weed. How can that happen? Seriously, how do 4 people ranging from 6’0” to 6’10” fit in the same car?
2.Texas - When asked about freshman walk-on Dean Malchionni, Longhorns Assistant Coach Chris Ogden said, "His voice is going to be one of his biggest strengths on the team." In other words, Dean can’t shoot, pass or dribble to save his life, but he’s the go-to-guy at the Taco Bell Drive-Thru.
3.Kentucky – During the UK-Louisville game, Coach Cal wore a checkered tie. It really didn’t seem to match his suit. But it did match his past.
4.Purdue – I just learned that the Boilermaker’s mascot is named “Purdue Pete”. Couldn’t they just call him Pete? I’d say the Purdue part is pretty obvious from the big P on his hat. And from the word Purdue on his chest.
5.Duke - Miles Plumlee is a sophomore at Duke. Mason Plumlee is a freshman. So, this begs the question, could the Plumlee parents possibly have come up with more prep school-perfect names starting with M? Answer: yes. Miles and Mason have a younger brother named Madison.
6.Villanova – Edward Hunsinger, an All-American at Notre Dame and know as the Little General of the Four Horsemen, came up with Villanova’s nickname of the Wildcats during his time as an assistant coach. Though I’m sure he appreciates the credit, I bet he wishes the school went with his first choice - “The Notre Dame Rejects.”
7.Syracuse – Two years ago Wes Johnson had an amazing year while playing for Iowa State. He was rated the #2 freshman in the Big 12. He then opted to sit out a whole year so he could transfer to SU. Why? Nobody really knows. Such irrationality should have prompted testing by the NCAA. No, not for drug use. But to see if Wes is actually a woman.
8. West Virginia - Just be before New Year’s Day, a lawyer from Tennessee donated one million dollars to the WV basketball team. Folks at UT think he should have given the money to his hometown team. Guess he figured the dough wouldn’t help the Vols all that much, as it would barely cover a year’s worth of bail.
9. North Carolina – The Tar Heels lost a nail biter to the College of Charleston this week. Somehow the Cougar’s coach, Bobby Cremins, remained calm throughout the whole game. He was so relaxed that I actually think I saw one of his hairs turn black.
10 Kansas State – With a mere four splashes of purple, the folks at Kansas State were able to (1) create a Wildcat logo and (2) deal with the team’s myriad psych issues with a readily available Rorschach test.
As always, next set of rankings coming next Friday.
Take it easy,
Dave
Friday, January 1, 2010
Rankings & Irrelevant Comments - week 9
Week 9 of my Hopefully Humorous Rankings is below. I guarantee that you will laugh – either at the jokes or at the fact that I actually think they are jokes.
Top 10
1.Kansas – In 1988, KU students made a banner out of a shower curtain that read, “Pay Heed”. It hung in Allen Fieldhouse for ten years until the administration decided that it didn’t portray the correct image. Apparently the school didn’t want people thinking that folks in Kansas showered.
2.Texas – The Longhorns’ bench is so deep that announcers are running out of things to compare it to. Here are a few of my suggestions: (1) The Longhorns’ bench is deeper than a conversation with Rick Warren. (2) The Longhorns’ bench is deeper than the pockets of a Goldman Sach’s exec. And (3) The Longhorns’ bench is deeper than the throat of Lindsay Lohan.
3.Kentucky – Wildcats became the school’s nickname back in the early 1900s when Commandant Carbusier, the head of UK’s military department, informed the team that they had “fought like a bunch of wildcats.” I guess that was pretty memorable – at least more so than the time Commandant Carbusier told the team that they “fought like a bunch of pussies.”
4.Purdue - E’Twan Moore had a great game this past week. Afterwards he downed some Reese’s Pieces and phoned home.
5.Syracuse – The Orange finally had a true road game last week when they had to travel to Jersey to play the Seton Hall Pirates. Pirates in New Jersey? Must be a euphemism. It would be too obvious if the school was called the Seton Hall Mafia.
6.West Virginia – With 3 of their last 4 games coming down to the final seconds, Mountaineer fans have surely been getting their money’s worth from their tickets. And Coach Huggins has surely been getting his money’s worth from his defibrillator.
7.Duke – An article at goduke.com hyped the Dukies “big” win over Long Beach State by noting that the 49’ers have faced Notre Dame, Texas and West Virginia this season. The article opted not to mention that Long Beach lost to each of those teams by over 20 points.
8.Villanova – Just like Kentucky, Villanova’s nickname is the Wildcats. Back in the 70s though, its women’s team was called the Wild-kittens. They opted to change that when fans became disappointed when the women started playing basketball – and not stripping.
9.North Carolina – Roy Williams has been coaching all season with his arm in a sling. Big deal. This fall Rick Pitino’s wife found out about his tawdry tryst. Since then he’s been coaching with his ass in a sling.
10. Connecticut - Senior Stanley Robinson, was recently quoted as saying, "I feel like it is going to take a little time for us to get together and start playing basketball.” I would suspect this would result in one of two reactions by Huskie fans: 1) Severe Aggravation – with the fact that it’s now 7 weeks into the season and the team is just thinking about getting its act together. OR 2) Severe Amazement – with the fact that the team has just two losses despite not even knowing what sport it was playing.
As always, next set of rankings coming next Friday
Happy New Year!
Dave
Top 10
1.Kansas – In 1988, KU students made a banner out of a shower curtain that read, “Pay Heed”. It hung in Allen Fieldhouse for ten years until the administration decided that it didn’t portray the correct image. Apparently the school didn’t want people thinking that folks in Kansas showered.
2.Texas – The Longhorns’ bench is so deep that announcers are running out of things to compare it to. Here are a few of my suggestions: (1) The Longhorns’ bench is deeper than a conversation with Rick Warren. (2) The Longhorns’ bench is deeper than the pockets of a Goldman Sach’s exec. And (3) The Longhorns’ bench is deeper than the throat of Lindsay Lohan.
3.Kentucky – Wildcats became the school’s nickname back in the early 1900s when Commandant Carbusier, the head of UK’s military department, informed the team that they had “fought like a bunch of wildcats.” I guess that was pretty memorable – at least more so than the time Commandant Carbusier told the team that they “fought like a bunch of pussies.”
4.Purdue - E’Twan Moore had a great game this past week. Afterwards he downed some Reese’s Pieces and phoned home.
5.Syracuse – The Orange finally had a true road game last week when they had to travel to Jersey to play the Seton Hall Pirates. Pirates in New Jersey? Must be a euphemism. It would be too obvious if the school was called the Seton Hall Mafia.
6.West Virginia – With 3 of their last 4 games coming down to the final seconds, Mountaineer fans have surely been getting their money’s worth from their tickets. And Coach Huggins has surely been getting his money’s worth from his defibrillator.
7.Duke – An article at goduke.com hyped the Dukies “big” win over Long Beach State by noting that the 49’ers have faced Notre Dame, Texas and West Virginia this season. The article opted not to mention that Long Beach lost to each of those teams by over 20 points.
8.Villanova – Just like Kentucky, Villanova’s nickname is the Wildcats. Back in the 70s though, its women’s team was called the Wild-kittens. They opted to change that when fans became disappointed when the women started playing basketball – and not stripping.
9.North Carolina – Roy Williams has been coaching all season with his arm in a sling. Big deal. This fall Rick Pitino’s wife found out about his tawdry tryst. Since then he’s been coaching with his ass in a sling.
10. Connecticut - Senior Stanley Robinson, was recently quoted as saying, "I feel like it is going to take a little time for us to get together and start playing basketball.” I would suspect this would result in one of two reactions by Huskie fans: 1) Severe Aggravation – with the fact that it’s now 7 weeks into the season and the team is just thinking about getting its act together. OR 2) Severe Amazement – with the fact that the team has just two losses despite not even knowing what sport it was playing.
As always, next set of rankings coming next Friday
Happy New Year!
Dave
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