Below is Week 4’s Hopefully Humorous Rankings. That’s 4 sets of 10 within November. That’s at least marginally impressive. And maybe even marginally humorous as well.
Top 10
1.Kansas – I’m pretty sure I heard Cole Aldrich, swear during a game last week. Sean Hannity of Fox News seems to be overeating to Cole’s little indiscretion. Call me crazy, but I really don’t see this as further evidence that there is no such thing as clean coal.
2.Kentucky –John Calipari has a new book called “Bounce Back”. The title is likely a reference to his perseverance after that devastating defeat in the 2008 Finals. Or it could be referring to what happens to his belly when he stands up.
3.Michigan State – Draymond Green and Raymar Morgan play for the Spartans. Both of these kids’ parents must have really wanted to almost name their child Raymond.
4.Villanova – During the Villanova-Dayton game, one of the announcers said, “You always need to be worried about those second half runs.” I’m not sure whether he was talking about a potential comeback by the Flyers, or the effects of concession-stand nachos.
5.Texas – Jai Lucas left Florida where he was a starting guard and coached by a man with two championships. He is now on Texas where he’s possibly the 6th best guard and coached by a man who has won nothing. He also can’t play till mid-December and wasn’t even given a scholarship. Wonder how this might impact his dad’s foundation that teaches people how to make good decisions.
6.Purdue – According to Sports Illustrated, the Boilermakers should be really good this year because they have 6 starters returning. I kind of think that’s why they were so good last year. I mean, most teams only have 5 starters.
7.West Virginia – In 1959 Jerry West lead the Mountaineers to the Final Four. He used to kid that the University was named after him. He stopped telling that joke when he realized that many of the WV alum didn’t know it was a joke.
8.Duke – Duke got its nickname of the Blue Devils from a regiment of blue cape wearing WWI soldiers who fought for France. And there you have it – yet another reason why rooting for Duke is un-American.
9.Syracuse – Dick Vitale did the color commentary for the SU-UNC game. He is definitely knowledgeable, energetic and entertaining. But I think he’s missing one little thing – a voice.
10.Butler – Gordon Hayward grew over 11 inches from his freshman year of high school to his freshman year of college. He had to go through a new wardrobe every three months. Got to give a lot of credit to his parents. Not just for keeping Gordon clothed, but for single handedly keeping the recession from bankrupting the GAP.
Next set of rankings coming next Friday.
Take it easy,
Dave
Friday, November 27, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Rankings & Irrelevant Comments - week 3
For your entertainment and education, I give you week 3's version of my Hopefully Humorous Rankings & Irrelevant Comments. The education value may be minimal, but the entertainment value, well, that may also be minimal.
Top 10
1.Kansas – The folks at Kansas are convinced that their Jayhawk is the most unique mascot in college sports. Really? The Jayhawk is a big bird with a big yellow beak and big yellow feet. Apparently the folks at Kansas don’t get PBS.
2.Kentucky – During a recent interview with ESPN John Calipari said that his players at Kentucky aren’t as focused on basketball as were his players at Memphis. Yeah, it’s amazing how much more you can focus on hoops when you don’t have to worry about taking your own tests.
3.Michigan State – Given that there are 5 different Div 1 teams with Michigan in their names, it’s hard to keep them straight. I think I have it though. Michigan State – the Spartans. Michigan – the Wolverines. Central Michigan, Western Michigan, Eastern Michigan – Irrelevant.
4.North Carolina – UNC refers to the color on its uniforms as “Carolina Blue” instead of what it actually looks like: powder blue. I think my beloved St. Bonaventure University should adopt a similar name change with its color. They should go with “Bonaventure Brown” instead of what it actually looks like: crap.
5.West Virginia – Every time Bob Huggins is subjected to a bad call, he looks like he’s going to soil himself. He really should team up with Huggies and create an adult diaper. Any geezer with bowel control issues would rather poop in something called a Huggins than a Depends. They better move quick though. I hear Pampers is coming out with the Paterno.
6. Purdue – Purdue University was named after John Purdue – a hardworking, successful, businessman and philanthropist. Unfortunately, people think of something vastly different when they see Purdue – a balding, skinny, chicken hawking, geriatric.
7. Texas – Coach Rick Barnes credits one of his former teachers with turning his life around during his young troublemaking days. He says that’s why he recruited the very troubled J’Covan Brown. Boy, was I wrong. I would have sworn the reason Coach Barnes recruited J’Covan was because he’s a great basketball player.
8.Duke – Though they are the Blue Devils, many people at Duke like to be called Dukies. That just seems to be missing something. Like two more “k”s.
9.Villanova – The ‘Nova faithful were quite excited when Scottie Reynolds decided to stick around for his senior year. His length-of-the-court drive last year to beat Pitt was rated the most thrilling play of The Tourney. Though probably not by players on Pitt.
10. Butler – Coach Brad Stevens has one great recruiting tool: If you go to Butler you'll play your home games in the Hinkle Fieldhouse – the site of the final game from “Hoosiers”. Coach Stevens also has one huge recruiting obstacle: In order to play your home games in the Hinkle Fieldhouse you have to go to Butler.
Most Overrated: Iowa – The Hawkeyes lost to Texas-San Antonio in the first round of the CBE “Tournament”. I put that word in quotes because though Iowa lost they still advance to the semi-finals because the “Tournament” organizers wanted to have the bigger name advance. That’s just plain wrong. Texas-San Antonio is clearly a bigger name than Iowa. By 11 letters to be exact.
Top 10
1.Kansas – The folks at Kansas are convinced that their Jayhawk is the most unique mascot in college sports. Really? The Jayhawk is a big bird with a big yellow beak and big yellow feet. Apparently the folks at Kansas don’t get PBS.
2.Kentucky – During a recent interview with ESPN John Calipari said that his players at Kentucky aren’t as focused on basketball as were his players at Memphis. Yeah, it’s amazing how much more you can focus on hoops when you don’t have to worry about taking your own tests.
3.Michigan State – Given that there are 5 different Div 1 teams with Michigan in their names, it’s hard to keep them straight. I think I have it though. Michigan State – the Spartans. Michigan – the Wolverines. Central Michigan, Western Michigan, Eastern Michigan – Irrelevant.
4.North Carolina – UNC refers to the color on its uniforms as “Carolina Blue” instead of what it actually looks like: powder blue. I think my beloved St. Bonaventure University should adopt a similar name change with its color. They should go with “Bonaventure Brown” instead of what it actually looks like: crap.
5.West Virginia – Every time Bob Huggins is subjected to a bad call, he looks like he’s going to soil himself. He really should team up with Huggies and create an adult diaper. Any geezer with bowel control issues would rather poop in something called a Huggins than a Depends. They better move quick though. I hear Pampers is coming out with the Paterno.
6. Purdue – Purdue University was named after John Purdue – a hardworking, successful, businessman and philanthropist. Unfortunately, people think of something vastly different when they see Purdue – a balding, skinny, chicken hawking, geriatric.
7. Texas – Coach Rick Barnes credits one of his former teachers with turning his life around during his young troublemaking days. He says that’s why he recruited the very troubled J’Covan Brown. Boy, was I wrong. I would have sworn the reason Coach Barnes recruited J’Covan was because he’s a great basketball player.
8.Duke – Though they are the Blue Devils, many people at Duke like to be called Dukies. That just seems to be missing something. Like two more “k”s.
9.Villanova – The ‘Nova faithful were quite excited when Scottie Reynolds decided to stick around for his senior year. His length-of-the-court drive last year to beat Pitt was rated the most thrilling play of The Tourney. Though probably not by players on Pitt.
10. Butler – Coach Brad Stevens has one great recruiting tool: If you go to Butler you'll play your home games in the Hinkle Fieldhouse – the site of the final game from “Hoosiers”. Coach Stevens also has one huge recruiting obstacle: In order to play your home games in the Hinkle Fieldhouse you have to go to Butler.
Most Overrated: Iowa – The Hawkeyes lost to Texas-San Antonio in the first round of the CBE “Tournament”. I put that word in quotes because though Iowa lost they still advance to the semi-finals because the “Tournament” organizers wanted to have the bigger name advance. That’s just plain wrong. Texas-San Antonio is clearly a bigger name than Iowa. By 11 letters to be exact.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Rankings & Irrelevant Comments - week 2
Below is week 2's version of my hopefully humorous college hoop rankings.
Top 10
1.Kansas – Some KU alum worry that rumors about super frosh Xavier Henry being “one and done” indicate that he’s not taking his education seriously. I’d say the fact that he enrolled at Kansas would be sufficient indication that he’s not taking his education seriously.
2.Kentucky – The Wildcats opening game is against Morehead State. According to the Sporting News, “The key for Morehead will be finding a suitable replacement for power forward Leon Buchanan.” Stupid me. I always thought the key was finding enough booze.
3.Michigan State – Last year Kalin Lucas made almost 40% of his 3-point shots. That means he missed over 60% - wholly unimpressive to me. During my CYO hoops career, I didn’t miss a single trey. I also wasn’t ever allowed to shot one. Or touch the ball.
4.North Carolina (2-0) – Coach Roy Williams has just published an autobiography entitled “Hard Work”. And to write the forward he got – John Grisham. Why? It makes perfect sense to me. Filling over 20 novels almost entirely with monosyllabic words has to be “Hard Work.”
5.West Virginia – This past July, sophomore Darryl Bryant crashed his vehicle into a fellow WVU student. Amazingly no one was seriously hurt. More amazingly, Bryant maintained his hoop scholarship. Most amazingly, Bryant also maintained his nickname of “Truck”.
6. Purdue – Forward Robbie Hummel is often injured and perpetually recovering from a nagging back injury. Heck, he’s so fragile that he should change his name to, well, actually Hummel is perfect.
7. Texas – I’m rooting hard for junior Dogus Balbay this year. Not so much on the court but to try out for American Idol. I’d just love to hear what Randy Jackson could possibly come up with to call him.
8.California (2-0) – Cal is in this year’s Coaches vs. Cancer Tournament. It’s great that the coaches raise money to fight cancer given how many of them have had that disease afflict their colons. Wouldn’t it be nice if they could come up with some symbol like that pink paper ribbon for breast cancer? If only there was a paper product that could somehow be colored to symbolize the colon.
9.Duke – Andre Dawkins is departing high school early to start playing for the Blue Devils this season. Big deal. Louisville has two players with a similar accomplishment. Though their early departure wasn’t from high school, but from the Clark County, Indiana penal system.
10.Villanova – I originally thought that Villanova might be a bit overrated. Then I heard ESPN’s Andy Katz proclaim that the Wildcats are overrated. That confirmed it for me. Villanova is definitely underrated.
Most Underrated: LeMoyne - I received some flack this past week for not giving LeMoyne their due respect for beating SU and merely chiding the Orange for their ineptness. I, therefore, promise that if (& when) the Dolphins knock off my beloved St. Bonaventure Bonnies next month, I will definitely focus solely on the positives of LeMoyne.
Top 10
1.Kansas – Some KU alum worry that rumors about super frosh Xavier Henry being “one and done” indicate that he’s not taking his education seriously. I’d say the fact that he enrolled at Kansas would be sufficient indication that he’s not taking his education seriously.
2.Kentucky – The Wildcats opening game is against Morehead State. According to the Sporting News, “The key for Morehead will be finding a suitable replacement for power forward Leon Buchanan.” Stupid me. I always thought the key was finding enough booze.
3.Michigan State – Last year Kalin Lucas made almost 40% of his 3-point shots. That means he missed over 60% - wholly unimpressive to me. During my CYO hoops career, I didn’t miss a single trey. I also wasn’t ever allowed to shot one. Or touch the ball.
4.North Carolina (2-0) – Coach Roy Williams has just published an autobiography entitled “Hard Work”. And to write the forward he got – John Grisham. Why? It makes perfect sense to me. Filling over 20 novels almost entirely with monosyllabic words has to be “Hard Work.”
5.West Virginia – This past July, sophomore Darryl Bryant crashed his vehicle into a fellow WVU student. Amazingly no one was seriously hurt. More amazingly, Bryant maintained his hoop scholarship. Most amazingly, Bryant also maintained his nickname of “Truck”.
6. Purdue – Forward Robbie Hummel is often injured and perpetually recovering from a nagging back injury. Heck, he’s so fragile that he should change his name to, well, actually Hummel is perfect.
7. Texas – I’m rooting hard for junior Dogus Balbay this year. Not so much on the court but to try out for American Idol. I’d just love to hear what Randy Jackson could possibly come up with to call him.
8.California (2-0) – Cal is in this year’s Coaches vs. Cancer Tournament. It’s great that the coaches raise money to fight cancer given how many of them have had that disease afflict their colons. Wouldn’t it be nice if they could come up with some symbol like that pink paper ribbon for breast cancer? If only there was a paper product that could somehow be colored to symbolize the colon.
9.Duke – Andre Dawkins is departing high school early to start playing for the Blue Devils this season. Big deal. Louisville has two players with a similar accomplishment. Though their early departure wasn’t from high school, but from the Clark County, Indiana penal system.
10.Villanova – I originally thought that Villanova might be a bit overrated. Then I heard ESPN’s Andy Katz proclaim that the Wildcats are overrated. That confirmed it for me. Villanova is definitely underrated.
Most Underrated: LeMoyne - I received some flack this past week for not giving LeMoyne their due respect for beating SU and merely chiding the Orange for their ineptness. I, therefore, promise that if (& when) the Dolphins knock off my beloved St. Bonaventure Bonnies next month, I will definitely focus solely on the positives of LeMoyne.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Pre-Season Rankings & Irrelevant Comments
2009-2010 college hoops season is here! Below is my first set of Hopefully Humorous Rankings & Irrelevant Comments. I’ll do my best to have a new installment up every Friday.
Pre-Season Top 10
1.Kansas – Lots of cupcakes for the Jayhawks this year – a bunch on their schedule and even more in Sherron Collins’ gut.
2.Kentucky - Speaking of guts, UK has a new “Coach Tubby” in John Calipari. Wonder how long it takes for him to get Kentucky to 16 Final 4 appearances. Yeah I know they already have 17, but Coach Cal has a way of making those disappear.
3.Michigan State – The main reason why the Spartans will have a great season may just lie with the talents of junior Mike Keebler. Not so much for his hoop skills, but because the team can’t make it through half time without downing a batch of his cookies. (At 6’ 4”, I’m pretty sure he was the inspiration for Will Ferrell’s character in Elf.)
4.North Carolina – This past summer Coach Williams was able to live out one of my ultimate fantasies – telling everyone, “I did it! Twins baby!” Though my fantasy has nothing to do with the signing of David and Travis Wear.
5.West Virginia – Freshman D. Kilicli is already feeling a tad homesick. Someone really should have told him that when he gets to West Virginia he can’t expect to have all the modern amenities that he had in his home in Turkey.
6.Duke – Duke has one guy who is 7’1” and 3 guys who are 6’ 10”. Wow. If they all stood on each other’s shoulders they would almost be able to reach the top of Coach K’s ego.
7.Texas – When Dexter Pittman arrived on campus he weighed a massive 366 lbs. He has amazingly dropped over 70 lbs. Not only has his game drastically improved, but the big positive is that people no longer mistake him for Bevo.
8. Mississippi State – The Bulldogs have 17 guys on their roster. That seems a tad stupid. They still need one more for an inter-squad game, of baseball.
9.Villanova – I don’t think I’m going to watch a single Villanova game this season. Don’t get me wrong, I love the team, but after 8 weeks of this year’s football season I don’t think I can handle hearing another announcer say, “Wildcat”.
10.Purdue – Last year while watching the Boilermakers play, my nephew points to the picture of a train on the court and says “Thomas!” I then look at my sister-in-law and say, “What the hell is he talking about?” All right, I didn’t say that, but she could tell I was thinking it. She then says, “Thomas the train. John you are going to have to teach Uncle Dave all about Thomas the train.” I looked back at my sister-in-law and said, “Why the hell do I give a crap about some train named Thomas?” All right, I didn’t say that, but amazingly she couldn’t tell I was thinking that. What I did say was, “Sure John, teach me all about Thomas the train, but first let me grab a beer and a shot and teach you all about a boilermaker.”
Most Overrated: Syracuse - This past week the Orange lost an exhibition game to Div II LeMoyne 82-79. I do give Boeheim some credit though. No not for the class he showed after the embarrassing loss. But for being smart enough to avoid further embarrassment and opting not to scrimmage Wellesley.
Take it easy,
Dave
Pre-Season Top 10
1.Kansas – Lots of cupcakes for the Jayhawks this year – a bunch on their schedule and even more in Sherron Collins’ gut.
2.Kentucky - Speaking of guts, UK has a new “Coach Tubby” in John Calipari. Wonder how long it takes for him to get Kentucky to 16 Final 4 appearances. Yeah I know they already have 17, but Coach Cal has a way of making those disappear.
3.Michigan State – The main reason why the Spartans will have a great season may just lie with the talents of junior Mike Keebler. Not so much for his hoop skills, but because the team can’t make it through half time without downing a batch of his cookies. (At 6’ 4”, I’m pretty sure he was the inspiration for Will Ferrell’s character in Elf.)
4.North Carolina – This past summer Coach Williams was able to live out one of my ultimate fantasies – telling everyone, “I did it! Twins baby!” Though my fantasy has nothing to do with the signing of David and Travis Wear.
5.West Virginia – Freshman D. Kilicli is already feeling a tad homesick. Someone really should have told him that when he gets to West Virginia he can’t expect to have all the modern amenities that he had in his home in Turkey.
6.Duke – Duke has one guy who is 7’1” and 3 guys who are 6’ 10”. Wow. If they all stood on each other’s shoulders they would almost be able to reach the top of Coach K’s ego.
7.Texas – When Dexter Pittman arrived on campus he weighed a massive 366 lbs. He has amazingly dropped over 70 lbs. Not only has his game drastically improved, but the big positive is that people no longer mistake him for Bevo.
8. Mississippi State – The Bulldogs have 17 guys on their roster. That seems a tad stupid. They still need one more for an inter-squad game, of baseball.
9.Villanova – I don’t think I’m going to watch a single Villanova game this season. Don’t get me wrong, I love the team, but after 8 weeks of this year’s football season I don’t think I can handle hearing another announcer say, “Wildcat”.
10.Purdue – Last year while watching the Boilermakers play, my nephew points to the picture of a train on the court and says “Thomas!” I then look at my sister-in-law and say, “What the hell is he talking about?” All right, I didn’t say that, but she could tell I was thinking it. She then says, “Thomas the train. John you are going to have to teach Uncle Dave all about Thomas the train.” I looked back at my sister-in-law and said, “Why the hell do I give a crap about some train named Thomas?” All right, I didn’t say that, but amazingly she couldn’t tell I was thinking that. What I did say was, “Sure John, teach me all about Thomas the train, but first let me grab a beer and a shot and teach you all about a boilermaker.”
Most Overrated: Syracuse - This past week the Orange lost an exhibition game to Div II LeMoyne 82-79. I do give Boeheim some credit though. No not for the class he showed after the embarrassing loss. But for being smart enough to avoid further embarrassment and opting not to scrimmage Wellesley.
Take it easy,
Dave
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Rant#19: One Sh!tty Moment
After the championship game CBS once again showed a montage of clips from the Tourney set to the cheasiest song ever written – “One Shining Moment.” The lyrics are below.
For all of you who, like me, had their brackets destroyed well before the Tar Heels' victory, I have provided a slightly different set of lyrics. Interspersed within “One Shining Moment” are the words to my song – “One Sh!tty Moment”. Hope you enjoy.
"One Shining/Sh!tty Moment"
The ball is tipped
(Your brackets are ripped)
and there you are
(Worst year by far)
you're running for your life
(You’re looking for a knife)
you're a shooting star
(To kill ‘Nova’s star.)
And all the years
(All those fears)
no one knows
(Of Lawson’s toes)
just how hard you worked
(And the Sooners lurked)
but now it shows...
(Now you feel hosed)
IN ONE SHINING MOMENT,
(In One Sh!tty Moment)
IT'S ALL ON THE LINE
(Marquette Crossed The line)
ONE SHINING MOMENT
(One Sh!tty Moment)
THERE FROZEN IN TIME
(Pitt - Ran Out Of Time)
But time is short
(Damn Zags went length of court)
and the road is long
(for another pick you got wrong)
in the blinking of an eye
(BC stinking- oh God why?!)
ah that moment's gone
(Wife then yells “Shut TV - tend to lawn.”)
And when it's done
(Hope it was fun)
win or lose
(picking Syracuse)
you always did your best
(You knew they had no rest)
cuz inside you knew
(Well, you got screwed)
THAT ONE SHINING MOMENT
(One Sh!tty Moment)
YOU REACHED DEEP INSIDE
(Siena’s Shots Went Wide)
ONE SHINING MOMENT
(One Sh!tty Moment)
YOU KNEW YOU WERE ALIVE
(You Knew – Wake Took A Dive)
Feel the beat of your heart
(There’s no beat of your heart)
feel the wind in your face
(There’s no blood in your face)
it's more than a contest
(Don’t look your greatest)
it's more than a race
(more like a corpse on Cold Case)
And when it's done
(Yup you’re done)
win or lose
(Go grab your booze)
you always did your best
(went 0 for the West)
cuz inside you knew
(Cuz Memphis blew)
THAT ONE SHINING MOMENT,
(That One Sh!tty Moment)
YOU REACHED FOR THE SKY
(You Just Want To Cry)
ONE SHINING MOMENT,
(One Sh!tty Moment)
YOU WERE WILLING TO TRY
(Worse - Than A Boeheim Sigh)
Take it easy till next year,
Dave
"FREE" POOL INFO -
The pot, made up of all my advertising profits and the donations, stands at $2,758.24
So:
1st place = $1,705.24
2 Winners of groups (other than the first place overall) - $326 each
“Wild Card” (person with highest score who did not win a group) - $326
Jimmy V Foundation = $75
WHO'S WHO AMONGST THOSE ALIVE AS OF THE FINALS
NORTH CAROLINA beats Michigan St.
1st Place - Linda Harkins (Group1A) - 147 - Linda was recruited by my St. Bona buddy Keith Mangas via her husband Richard Harkins. Richard is the proud recipient of this year's award as the person who had the most difficulty following the "Idiot Proof" instructions. Lucky for him his wife is a not only brilliant, but apparently a sage.
Group Winner - Tina Hurley (Group1) - 141 - Tina is married to the brother of my BC law buddy and former law partner Patrick Hurley. Should she finish in the $ she will officially make it 3 years of Hurleys to win bucks in this pool. Her husband claims that's a dynasty. He also claims he will get Tina to dress up as Linda Evans.
Group Winner - Tammy Bamrungsuk (GroupA) - 146 - Tammy is the girlfriend of another St. Bona bud, Johnny Cusanno. Johnny edited pretty much every one of my posts. So if you found any grammatical errors or sub-par jokes, they were all his fault.
Best of Rest - Robin Hughes (Group1A) - 144 - Robin teaches elementary school in Walpole Mass. with my wife. She's the one who last year convinced me to run a pool for the Woman's Tourney. I've need daily shots of testosterone since.
MICHIGAN STATE beats UNC
1st Place - Sara Barend (Group1) - 128 - A chick I met in a bar.
Best of Rest - Linda Harkins (Group1A) - 115 - A chick who I never met and who I hope doesn't mind being referred to as a chick.
Group winner - Tammy Bamrungsuk (GroupA) - 114 - A chick who, much like Linda, has already locked up $321.
Group Winner - Michael Camosico (Group1A) - 117 - Not a chick. At least I'm pretty sure of that. That makes Michael the only man still alive for $. If memory serves, Michael found my site due to a post that Keith Mangas placed on the St. Bonaventure Bandwagon website.
Others
Jeannie Basile & Marianna Toma - Two people who hate Keith Mangas. Were it not for Keith's recruiting and posting efforts, these two women would still have a shot at some dough.
Since North Carolina won:
CONGRATS TO:
1st Place - Linda Harkins (Group1A) - 147
Group Winner - Tina Hurley (Group1) - 141
Group Winner - Tammy Bamrungsuk (GroupA) - 146
Best of Rest - Robin Hughes (Group1A) - 144
Take it easy,
Dave
For all of you who, like me, had their brackets destroyed well before the Tar Heels' victory, I have provided a slightly different set of lyrics. Interspersed within “One Shining Moment” are the words to my song – “One Sh!tty Moment”. Hope you enjoy.
"One Shining/Sh!tty Moment"
The ball is tipped
(Your brackets are ripped)
and there you are
(Worst year by far)
you're running for your life
(You’re looking for a knife)
you're a shooting star
(To kill ‘Nova’s star.)
And all the years
(All those fears)
no one knows
(Of Lawson’s toes)
just how hard you worked
(And the Sooners lurked)
but now it shows...
(Now you feel hosed)
IN ONE SHINING MOMENT,
(In One Sh!tty Moment)
IT'S ALL ON THE LINE
(Marquette Crossed The line)
ONE SHINING MOMENT
(One Sh!tty Moment)
THERE FROZEN IN TIME
(Pitt - Ran Out Of Time)
But time is short
(Damn Zags went length of court)
and the road is long
(for another pick you got wrong)
in the blinking of an eye
(BC stinking- oh God why?!)
ah that moment's gone
(Wife then yells “Shut TV - tend to lawn.”)
And when it's done
(Hope it was fun)
win or lose
(picking Syracuse)
you always did your best
(You knew they had no rest)
cuz inside you knew
(Well, you got screwed)
THAT ONE SHINING MOMENT
(One Sh!tty Moment)
YOU REACHED DEEP INSIDE
(Siena’s Shots Went Wide)
ONE SHINING MOMENT
(One Sh!tty Moment)
YOU KNEW YOU WERE ALIVE
(You Knew – Wake Took A Dive)
Feel the beat of your heart
(There’s no beat of your heart)
feel the wind in your face
(There’s no blood in your face)
it's more than a contest
(Don’t look your greatest)
it's more than a race
(more like a corpse on Cold Case)
And when it's done
(Yup you’re done)
win or lose
(Go grab your booze)
you always did your best
(went 0 for the West)
cuz inside you knew
(Cuz Memphis blew)
THAT ONE SHINING MOMENT,
(That One Sh!tty Moment)
YOU REACHED FOR THE SKY
(You Just Want To Cry)
ONE SHINING MOMENT,
(One Sh!tty Moment)
YOU WERE WILLING TO TRY
(Worse - Than A Boeheim Sigh)
Take it easy till next year,
Dave
"FREE" POOL INFO -
The pot, made up of all my advertising profits and the donations, stands at $2,758.24
So:
1st place = $1,705.24
2 Winners of groups (other than the first place overall) - $326 each
“Wild Card” (person with highest score who did not win a group) - $326
Jimmy V Foundation = $75
WHO'S WHO AMONGST THOSE ALIVE AS OF THE FINALS
NORTH CAROLINA beats Michigan St.
1st Place - Linda Harkins (Group1A) - 147 - Linda was recruited by my St. Bona buddy Keith Mangas via her husband Richard Harkins. Richard is the proud recipient of this year's award as the person who had the most difficulty following the "Idiot Proof" instructions. Lucky for him his wife is a not only brilliant, but apparently a sage.
Group Winner - Tina Hurley (Group1) - 141 - Tina is married to the brother of my BC law buddy and former law partner Patrick Hurley. Should she finish in the $ she will officially make it 3 years of Hurleys to win bucks in this pool. Her husband claims that's a dynasty. He also claims he will get Tina to dress up as Linda Evans.
Group Winner - Tammy Bamrungsuk (GroupA) - 146 - Tammy is the girlfriend of another St. Bona bud, Johnny Cusanno. Johnny edited pretty much every one of my posts. So if you found any grammatical errors or sub-par jokes, they were all his fault.
Best of Rest - Robin Hughes (Group1A) - 144 - Robin teaches elementary school in Walpole Mass. with my wife. She's the one who last year convinced me to run a pool for the Woman's Tourney. I've need daily shots of testosterone since.
MICHIGAN STATE beats UNC
1st Place - Sara Barend (Group1) - 128 - A chick I met in a bar.
Best of Rest - Linda Harkins (Group1A) - 115 - A chick who I never met and who I hope doesn't mind being referred to as a chick.
Group winner - Tammy Bamrungsuk (GroupA) - 114 - A chick who, much like Linda, has already locked up $321.
Group Winner - Michael Camosico (Group1A) - 117 - Not a chick. At least I'm pretty sure of that. That makes Michael the only man still alive for $. If memory serves, Michael found my site due to a post that Keith Mangas placed on the St. Bonaventure Bandwagon website.
Others
Jeannie Basile & Marianna Toma - Two people who hate Keith Mangas. Were it not for Keith's recruiting and posting efforts, these two women would still have a shot at some dough.
Since North Carolina won:
CONGRATS TO:
1st Place - Linda Harkins (Group1A) - 147
Group Winner - Tina Hurley (Group1) - 141
Group Winner - Tammy Bamrungsuk (GroupA) - 146
Best of Rest - Robin Hughes (Group1A) - 144
Take it easy,
Dave
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Dave's 6th Ridiculous 3 Pointer
Below are 3 more random and hopefully humorous comments on the Tourney. Below that is info on the "FREE" pool.
1.HEADBANGER – During the game against SU, Oklahoma’s Blake Griffin slam dunked and, at the same time, slammed his head against the backboard. Big deal. I did that once. Except it wasn’t on a 10-foot hoop. It was a 7 feet. Oh, and my head didn’t exactly hit the backboard. It hit the net.
2.ENTERPRISE – I have now seen that commercial for Enterprise Car-Rental a hundred times. You know, the one where the woman is holding two teddies and says, “Red or black?” The guy slyly responds, “Both.” Both? Apparently one is for him.
So when you add in the Taco Bell’s cross-dressing spot, that makes two advertisements focusing on transvestites. I’d really prefer to see something that better appeals to my blue blooded American values – like some hot lesbian action.
3.WHO’S ON FIRST – Last night while watching the Tourney I was unwillingly forced to participate in an Abbot and Costello skit with my wife. Below is a excerpt:
Wife: Greg Gumble just said we’re going back to Vernon Raff. What happened?
Me: What do you mean. Vern and Raff are right there.
Wife: Where? I don’t see him.
Me: Who?
Wife: Vernon Raff.
Me: I told you Vern and Raff are right there.
Wife: Why wont you just tell me where he is?
Me; He who?!! And don’t say . . .
Wife & Me (simultaneously): Vernon/Vern and Raff
Me: They are right there!!
Wife: Can’t you be nicer? Maybe next game let me know who’s Clark and who’s Kellogg.
"FREE" POOL INFO -
As of now the pot, made up of all my advertising profits and the donations, stands at $2,713.24
So, at this point –
1st place = $1,700.24
2 Winners of groups (other than the first place overall) - $321 each
“Wild Card” (person with highest score who did not win a group) - $321
Jimmy V Foundation = $50
If you have not donated yet, you can still do so via the Paypal link above. If any more $ comes in (and more is expected) I’ll continue to adjust the breakdown accordingly.
THE 8 POSSIBLE SCENARIOS
UCONN beats UNC
1st place - Sara Barend (Group1) - 176
Group winner - Scott DeTraglia (GroupA)- 155
Group Winner - Michale Camoscio (Group1A)- 159
Best of Rest - Erica Laird (Group1) - 159
UCONN beats Vill
1st place - William Sullivan (Group1A) - 166
Group Winner - Sara Barend (Group1) - 160
Group Wunner - Scott DeTraglia (GroupA) - 139
Best Of Rest - Craig Teal (Group1) - 152
NORTH CAROLINA beats Uconn
1st Place - Tammy Bamrungsuk (GroupA)- 162
Group Winner - Rick Heatquist (Group1) - 156
Group Winner - Robin Hughes (Group1A) - 160
Best Of Rest - Marianna Toma (Group1A) - 158
NORTH CAROLINA beats Michigan St.
1st Place - Linda Harkins (Group1A) - 147
Group Winner - Tina Hurley (Group1) - 141
Group Winner - Tammy Bamrungsuk (GroupA) - 146
Best of Rest - Robin Hughes (Group1A) - 144
VILLANOVA beats Michigan State
1st Place - Mike Lawrence (Group1) - 128
Group Winner - Amanda DiFiore (Group1A) - 123
Group Winner - Darin Schmidt (GroupA) - 103
Best Of Rest - Nora Broseau (Group1) - 118
VILLANOVA beats UConn
1st Place - Mike Lawrence (Group1) - 144
Group Winner - Tammy Bamrungsuk (GroupA) - 114
Group Winner - Amanda DiFiore (Group1A) - 139
Best of Rest (tie)- Nora Brssseau (Group1) - 134
Best of Rest (tie) - Bill Sullivan (Group1A) - 134
MICHIGAN STATE beats UNC
1st Place - Sara Barend (Group1) - 128
Group winner - Tammy Bamrungsuk (GroupA) - 114
Group Winner - Michael Camosico (Group1A) - 117
Best of Rest - Linda Harkins (Group1A) - 115
MICHIGAN STATE beats Villanova
1st Place - Bill Sullivan (Group1A) - 118
Group Winner - Jeannie Basile (Group1) - 113
Group Winner - Darin Schmidt (GroupA) - 103
Best of Rest - Sara Barend (Group1) - 112
PLEASE let me know if you find a mistake or have any questions with the above.
Take it easy,
Dave
1.HEADBANGER – During the game against SU, Oklahoma’s Blake Griffin slam dunked and, at the same time, slammed his head against the backboard. Big deal. I did that once. Except it wasn’t on a 10-foot hoop. It was a 7 feet. Oh, and my head didn’t exactly hit the backboard. It hit the net.
2.ENTERPRISE – I have now seen that commercial for Enterprise Car-Rental a hundred times. You know, the one where the woman is holding two teddies and says, “Red or black?” The guy slyly responds, “Both.” Both? Apparently one is for him.
So when you add in the Taco Bell’s cross-dressing spot, that makes two advertisements focusing on transvestites. I’d really prefer to see something that better appeals to my blue blooded American values – like some hot lesbian action.
3.WHO’S ON FIRST – Last night while watching the Tourney I was unwillingly forced to participate in an Abbot and Costello skit with my wife. Below is a excerpt:
Wife: Greg Gumble just said we’re going back to Vernon Raff. What happened?
Me: What do you mean. Vern and Raff are right there.
Wife: Where? I don’t see him.
Me: Who?
Wife: Vernon Raff.
Me: I told you Vern and Raff are right there.
Wife: Why wont you just tell me where he is?
Me; He who?!! And don’t say . . .
Wife & Me (simultaneously): Vernon/Vern and Raff
Me: They are right there!!
Wife: Can’t you be nicer? Maybe next game let me know who’s Clark and who’s Kellogg.
"FREE" POOL INFO -
As of now the pot, made up of all my advertising profits and the donations, stands at $2,713.24
So, at this point –
1st place = $1,700.24
2 Winners of groups (other than the first place overall) - $321 each
“Wild Card” (person with highest score who did not win a group) - $321
Jimmy V Foundation = $50
If you have not donated yet, you can still do so via the Paypal link above. If any more $ comes in (and more is expected) I’ll continue to adjust the breakdown accordingly.
THE 8 POSSIBLE SCENARIOS
UCONN beats UNC
1st place - Sara Barend (Group1) - 176
Group winner - Scott DeTraglia (GroupA)- 155
Group Winner - Michale Camoscio (Group1A)- 159
Best of Rest - Erica Laird (Group1) - 159
UCONN beats Vill
1st place - William Sullivan (Group1A) - 166
Group Winner - Sara Barend (Group1) - 160
Group Wunner - Scott DeTraglia (GroupA) - 139
Best Of Rest - Craig Teal (Group1) - 152
NORTH CAROLINA beats Uconn
1st Place - Tammy Bamrungsuk (GroupA)- 162
Group Winner - Rick Heatquist (Group1) - 156
Group Winner - Robin Hughes (Group1A) - 160
Best Of Rest - Marianna Toma (Group1A) - 158
NORTH CAROLINA beats Michigan St.
1st Place - Linda Harkins (Group1A) - 147
Group Winner - Tina Hurley (Group1) - 141
Group Winner - Tammy Bamrungsuk (GroupA) - 146
Best of Rest - Robin Hughes (Group1A) - 144
VILLANOVA beats Michigan State
1st Place - Mike Lawrence (Group1) - 128
Group Winner - Amanda DiFiore (Group1A) - 123
Group Winner - Darin Schmidt (GroupA) - 103
Best Of Rest - Nora Broseau (Group1) - 118
VILLANOVA beats UConn
1st Place - Mike Lawrence (Group1) - 144
Group Winner - Tammy Bamrungsuk (GroupA) - 114
Group Winner - Amanda DiFiore (Group1A) - 139
Best of Rest (tie)- Nora Brssseau (Group1) - 134
Best of Rest (tie) - Bill Sullivan (Group1A) - 134
MICHIGAN STATE beats UNC
1st Place - Sara Barend (Group1) - 128
Group winner - Tammy Bamrungsuk (GroupA) - 114
Group Winner - Michael Camosico (Group1A) - 117
Best of Rest - Linda Harkins (Group1A) - 115
MICHIGAN STATE beats Villanova
1st Place - Bill Sullivan (Group1A) - 118
Group Winner - Jeannie Basile (Group1) - 113
Group Winner - Darin Schmidt (GroupA) - 103
Best of Rest - Sara Barend (Group1) - 112
PLEASE let me know if you find a mistake or have any questions with the above.
Take it easy,
Dave
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Dave's 5th Ridiculous 3 Pointer
Below are 3 more random and hopefully humorous comments on the Tourney. Below that is info on the "FREE" pool.
1.MEMPHIS STINKS – Yup, I had the Tigers winning it all and I’m officially eliminated from winning my pool. No joke here, just my pain. Sadly my pain is extremely humorous to most of my friends.
2.SCARY MOVIES – So I’m watching the games with my 6-year old and a commercial comes on for the movie “The Haunting in Connecticut.” Maybe I’m getting a tad conservative in my old age, but I’m not sure my little one needed to see that kid puking demons. Can’t they show something a bit more ”family friendly” - like shots of the scantily clad cheerleaders?
3.BINGHAMTON – Last week’s column was a letter to Binghamton Coach Kevin Broadus. He actually checked it out and emailed me with a “LOL”. You know what that means. Broadus is a really nice guy? No. I've discoverd a sure fire way to increase the hits on this site - just write letters to the other 342 coaches.
“FREE” NCAA POOL INFO
STANDINGS:
Top 2 in each group after Round 3/Day2 by Winner (Group name/champ-runner up-rest of final 4)
LOUSIVILLE
1.Dave Ison (Group1A/Louis-UNC-Vill-Memphis) - 79
1.Bruce Nickles (GroupA/LOUIS-Unc-Uconn-Pitt) - 79
1.Joe Carbone (GroupA/LOUIS-UNC-Pitt-Memphis) - 79
4.Tom Scanlan (Group1 Louis-NC-Missouir - Pitt) - 78
5.Tony Schwagerl (Group1/Louis - Pitt-Conn - Okla) - 77
6.Jeff Wald (Group1A/(Louis-NC-Conn-Pitt) - 74
UCONN
1.Sara Barend (Group1/UCONN- UNC-Mich.St.- Vill) - 80
2.Mark Loncar (Group1A/Conn-okla-Louis-Vlll) - 78
3.Michael Camosico (Conn-NC-MichSt.-Pitt) - 77
4.John Cusanno (GroupA/Conn-NC-Luis-Pitt) - 74
5.Craig Teal (Group1/ Conn-UNC-Louis-Pitt) - 74
6.Molly McQueen (GroupA/UCONN-UNC-Pitt- WF) - 68
NORTH CAROLINA
1.Robin Hughes (Group1A/(UNC-Uconn-Louis-Pitt) - 80
2.Tina Hurley (Group1/UNC-Louis-Pitt-UConn)-77
2.Jean Orjeula (Group1A/UNC-Louis-Memphis - Villanova) - 77
4.Ernie Barton (GroupA/UNC-Memphis-Louis-Pitt) - 76
5.Dennis Thorne (Group1/NC-Louis-Conn-Pitt) - 76
6.John Krotzer (GroupA/ NC-Louis- Conn-Pitt) - 74
PITTSBURGH
1.Tara Kenyon (GroupA/PITT-Louis-Uconn-UNC) - 81
2.Eileen Meskill (Group 1A/Pitt-Louis-Memp-NC) - 76
3.Keith Mangas (Group1A/Pitt-Louis-Conn-Nc) - 74
4.Brendan Moynihan (Group1/Pitt-Louis-Conn-UNC) - 72
4.Jason Shelly (GroupA/Pitt-Louis-Memp-Okla0 - 72
4.Ken Capprell (Group1/PITT-UConn-Louis-SU) - 72
OKLAHOMA
1.Jennifer Maiona (Group1/OKLA-Lois-Pitt - Missouri) - 82
2.Wing Wong (GroupA/Okla-Conn-Mst-pitt) - 77
3.Trent Mitchell - (Group1-Okla-Louis-Conn-Pitt) - 74
4.Kevin Laha - (Group1A/ Okla-Louis-Pitt-memp) - 63
(Only people with Oklahoma winning it all)
VILLANOVA
1.Mike Lawrence (Group1/Vill-Conn-Louis-Okla) - 64
2.Amanda DiFiore (Group1A/Vill/Conn-KU-Su) - 59
3.Nora Brosseau (Group1/Vill-Conn-Louis- Ill) -54
(Only people with Villanova)
MICHIGAN STATE
1.Jeannie Basile (Group1/Mst-Pitt-Memp-Okla) - 57
(nobody else has Mich St.)
MISSOURI
Nobody has Missourt winning it all.
There are 58 entries in each group. I’m “in” all 3, but I only submitted picks in Group1.
If you want any additional info about anyone’s picks who is not in your group, just email me.
As of now the pot, made up of all my advertising profits and donations, stands at $2,643.24
So, at this point –
1st place = $1,672
2 Winners of groups (other than the first place overall) - $307.08 each
“Wild Card” (person with highest score who did not win a group) - $307.08
Jimmy V Foundation = $50
If you have not donated yet, you can still do so via the Paypal link above. If any more $ comes in I’ll continue to adjust the breakdown accordingly.
Take it easy,
Dave
1.MEMPHIS STINKS – Yup, I had the Tigers winning it all and I’m officially eliminated from winning my pool. No joke here, just my pain. Sadly my pain is extremely humorous to most of my friends.
2.SCARY MOVIES – So I’m watching the games with my 6-year old and a commercial comes on for the movie “The Haunting in Connecticut.” Maybe I’m getting a tad conservative in my old age, but I’m not sure my little one needed to see that kid puking demons. Can’t they show something a bit more ”family friendly” - like shots of the scantily clad cheerleaders?
3.BINGHAMTON – Last week’s column was a letter to Binghamton Coach Kevin Broadus. He actually checked it out and emailed me with a “LOL”. You know what that means. Broadus is a really nice guy? No. I've discoverd a sure fire way to increase the hits on this site - just write letters to the other 342 coaches.
“FREE” NCAA POOL INFO
STANDINGS:
Top 2 in each group after Round 3/Day2 by Winner (Group name/champ-runner up-rest of final 4)
LOUSIVILLE
1.Dave Ison (Group1A/Louis-UNC-Vill-Memphis) - 79
1.Bruce Nickles (GroupA/LOUIS-Unc-Uconn-Pitt) - 79
1.Joe Carbone (GroupA/LOUIS-UNC-Pitt-Memphis) - 79
4.Tom Scanlan (Group1 Louis-NC-Missouir - Pitt) - 78
5.Tony Schwagerl (Group1/Louis - Pitt-Conn - Okla) - 77
6.Jeff Wald (Group1A/(Louis-NC-Conn-Pitt) - 74
UCONN
1.Sara Barend (Group1/UCONN- UNC-Mich.St.- Vill) - 80
2.Mark Loncar (Group1A/Conn-okla-Louis-Vlll) - 78
3.Michael Camosico (Conn-NC-MichSt.-Pitt) - 77
4.John Cusanno (GroupA/Conn-NC-Luis-Pitt) - 74
5.Craig Teal (Group1/ Conn-UNC-Louis-Pitt) - 74
6.Molly McQueen (GroupA/UCONN-UNC-Pitt- WF) - 68
NORTH CAROLINA
1.Robin Hughes (Group1A/(UNC-Uconn-Louis-Pitt) - 80
2.Tina Hurley (Group1/UNC-Louis-Pitt-UConn)-77
2.Jean Orjeula (Group1A/UNC-Louis-Memphis - Villanova) - 77
4.Ernie Barton (GroupA/UNC-Memphis-Louis-Pitt) - 76
5.Dennis Thorne (Group1/NC-Louis-Conn-Pitt) - 76
6.John Krotzer (GroupA/ NC-Louis- Conn-Pitt) - 74
PITTSBURGH
1.Tara Kenyon (GroupA/PITT-Louis-Uconn-UNC) - 81
2.Eileen Meskill (Group 1A/Pitt-Louis-Memp-NC) - 76
3.Keith Mangas (Group1A/Pitt-Louis-Conn-Nc) - 74
4.Brendan Moynihan (Group1/Pitt-Louis-Conn-UNC) - 72
4.Jason Shelly (GroupA/Pitt-Louis-Memp-Okla0 - 72
4.Ken Capprell (Group1/PITT-UConn-Louis-SU) - 72
OKLAHOMA
1.Jennifer Maiona (Group1/OKLA-Lois-Pitt - Missouri) - 82
2.Wing Wong (GroupA/Okla-Conn-Mst-pitt) - 77
3.Trent Mitchell - (Group1-Okla-Louis-Conn-Pitt) - 74
4.Kevin Laha - (Group1A/ Okla-Louis-Pitt-memp) - 63
(Only people with Oklahoma winning it all)
VILLANOVA
1.Mike Lawrence (Group1/Vill-Conn-Louis-Okla) - 64
2.Amanda DiFiore (Group1A/Vill/Conn-KU-Su) - 59
3.Nora Brosseau (Group1/Vill-Conn-Louis- Ill) -54
(Only people with Villanova)
MICHIGAN STATE
1.Jeannie Basile (Group1/Mst-Pitt-Memp-Okla) - 57
(nobody else has Mich St.)
MISSOURI
Nobody has Missourt winning it all.
There are 58 entries in each group. I’m “in” all 3, but I only submitted picks in Group1.
If you want any additional info about anyone’s picks who is not in your group, just email me.
As of now the pot, made up of all my advertising profits and donations, stands at $2,643.24
So, at this point –
1st place = $1,672
2 Winners of groups (other than the first place overall) - $307.08 each
“Wild Card” (person with highest score who did not win a group) - $307.08
Jimmy V Foundation = $50
If you have not donated yet, you can still do so via the Paypal link above. If any more $ comes in I’ll continue to adjust the breakdown accordingly.
Take it easy,
Dave
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