Friday, January 22, 2010

Rankings & Irrelevant Comments - week 12

A buddy of mine informed me that someone else in the blog-o-sphere crafts a similar top 10 rankings with comments, but doesn’t attempt to be funny. Well I guess that’s a positive – I mean, that my buddy can actually tell that I’m attempting to be funny.

Week 12 of my Hopefully Humorous Rankings are below. Enjoy.

Top 10
1.Kentucky – At CoachCal.com you can buy a shirt that has a picture on it of one of Calipari’s ties. The perfect gift for someone who wants to pretend to be the coach of UK but can’t afford a tie. Which is pretty much everyone in Kentucky.

2.Texas. In their win over Texas A&M this past week, the Longhorns shot a miserable 56% from the line and missed 3 lay-ups in the last 3 seconds of regulation. Little did I realize that I have the skills to play for Texas.

3.Kansas – The “Rock Chalk Jayhawk” chant was crafted by an English professor. So apparently KU’s English Department doesn’t place much importance on coherent speech.

4.Syracuse – The Orange just beat the Fighting Irish in ND’s new Purcell Pavilion. They named their newly refurbished arena after Morgan Stanley’s former CEO, Phillip Purcell. That makes sense. Because nobody exemplifies Christian values like an investment banker.

5.Villanova – I'm hoping the Wildcats’ upcoming game against Cincinnati is televised. Not that I really care about either team. It’s just that my pre-season guide says Cincy is coached by Mick Cronin. But every time I see them on TV, I swear they’re being coached by Scott Hamilton.

6.Duke – Coach Krzyzewski has thrown his support behind expanding the NCAA Tourney to 96 teams, which should be more than enough reason for everyone else to be against it.

7.Tennessee –Tennessee’s orange and white jerseys have led opposing fans to call the players “creamsicles”. I think the Vols should embrace that creamsicle moniker. It’s much better than the actual origin of those colors. According to UT’s website, the colors represent a little flower that grew on campus called- the daisy.

8.Kansas State – Denis Clement became a YouTube sensation due to his incredible trick shot. He threw a ball at KSU’s center court scoreboard, which then bounced off the floor and through the hoop. Amazing, but I think he can top it. To do so will require a little letter: “Dear Jerry Jones. You know that Jumbotron you bought for $42 million? Can I throw my ball at it?”

9.Gonzaga – I think I finally get it now. It’s not Gon-zah-ga, it’s Gon-ZAG-a. And it’s not Cin-der-ella, it’s O-ver-rated.

10.West Virginia – Guard Casey Mitchell actually dropped out of high school at one point to help with his mom’s cancer. His mom eventually convinced him that he should return because he needed an education. And she needed an oncologist.

As always, next set of Rankings coming next Friday.

Take it easy,
Dave

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