Rankings & Irrelevant Comments - week 10

Week 10 of my Hopefully Humorous Rankings is below. So let’s see. 10 weeks times 10 jokes per week is just about 100 jokes. That equals 1 joke per each of my 100 regular readers – if I actually had 100 regular readers.

Top 10

1.Kansas - The Jayhawks should have an easy time beating Tennessee this week given that 4 Volunteer players are currently seeing more time behind bars than on the court. This past week cops pulled over a rental car that contained 4 guys on UT, as well as a couple of guns and some weed. How can that happen? Seriously, how do 4 people ranging from 6’0” to 6’10” fit in the same car?

2.Texas - When asked about freshman walk-on Dean Malchionni, Longhorns Assistant Coach Chris Ogden said, "His voice is going to be one of his biggest strengths on the team." In other words, Dean can’t shoot, pass or dribble to save his life, but he’s the go-to-guy at the Taco Bell Drive-Thru.

3.Kentucky – During the UK-Louisville game, Coach Cal wore a checkered tie. It really didn’t seem to match his suit. But it did match his past.

4.Purdue – I just learned that the Boilermaker’s mascot is named “Purdue Pete”. Couldn’t they just call him Pete? I’d say the Purdue part is pretty obvious from the big P on his hat. And from the word Purdue on his chest.

5.Duke - Miles Plumlee is a sophomore at Duke. Mason Plumlee is a freshman. So, this begs the question, could the Plumlee parents possibly have come up with more prep school-perfect names starting with M? Answer: yes. Miles and Mason have a younger brother named Madison.

6.Villanova – Edward Hunsinger, an All-American at Notre Dame and know as the Little General of the Four Horsemen, came up with Villanova’s nickname of the Wildcats during his time as an assistant coach. Though I’m sure he appreciates the credit, I bet he wishes the school went with his first choice - “The Notre Dame Rejects.”

7.Syracuse – Two years ago Wes Johnson had an amazing year while playing for Iowa State. He was rated the #2 freshman in the Big 12. He then opted to sit out a whole year so he could transfer to SU. Why? Nobody really knows. Such irrationality should have prompted testing by the NCAA. No, not for drug use. But to see if Wes is actually a woman.

8. West Virginia - Just be before New Year’s Day, a lawyer from Tennessee donated one million dollars to the WV basketball team. Folks at UT think he should have given the money to his hometown team. Guess he figured the dough wouldn’t help the Vols all that much, as it would barely cover a year’s worth of bail.

9. North Carolina – The Tar Heels lost a nail biter to the College of Charleston this week. Somehow the Cougar’s coach, Bobby Cremins, remained calm throughout the whole game. He was so relaxed that I actually think I saw one of his hairs turn black.

10 Kansas State – With a mere four splashes of purple, the folks at Kansas State were able to (1) create a Wildcat logo and (2) deal with the team’s myriad psych issues with a readily available Rorschach test.

As always, next set of rankings coming next Friday.

Take it easy,
Dave