Final4 Pick4 (No Worse Than Police Academy4)

Intro to the Intro:
Through my many days as a blogger (8 to be exact) I’ve learned that submitting a new post with references to prior ones might be mistake. I’m lucky to get anyone to read my latest installment, let alone review old entries. So, below is the intro to my Final 4 picks, (which can also be found preceding Pick#1) to help you better understand my prediction strategy.

Intro:
There is a truism that I swear by: home court advantage is huge in college hoops. My Final 4 Predictions are, therefore, based to a large extent on where the NCAA Tourney Regional Rounds (3&4) will be played. Yes, my “system” would make a lot more sense if I knew which teams would be playing in which region. If by chance these picks are so ridiculous that you can’t help but laugh, consider them the humor portion of this blog.


BOSTON REGIONAL
If ever a city were completely undeserving of being an NCAA Tourament Regional site it's Boston – the city in which I reside. Well, actually I’m now 45 min away with no traffic. Given that there’s never “no traffic”, I’m really more like an hour plus outside of Boston. In fact, I live so far away from Boston, that my town actually votes Republican.

Anyway, I’ve learned that in this city that nobody actually calls Beantown, following college sports ranks below following professional soccer. Make that women’s professional soccer. That’s especially amazing given that there is no women’s pro soccer league.

Though there are a number of schools in the area with Div 1 Hoop, people here could truly care less. I guess that means Spinal Tap’s manager was right when he said that Boston’s “not a big college town.” And I bet you laughed when you heard him say that.

You might think BC would be a good fit with my “home team” strategy, but you’d be wrong. As much as I love the school that I severely overpaid for a law degree that I wish I never obtained, Boston College has only a slightly better shot at even making the tournament than my beloved St. Bonaventure Bonnies. St. Bonaventure Univ. would be the school that I severely over paid for my undergraduate degree in Marketing. How good can a school’s marketing program be if most people don’t even know the school exists? A question I should have pondered before enrolling.

UConn would be a legit selection. The campus is about 90 minutes away. There’s also a huge amount of Huskie alumni in Boston and throughout New England. (Why the State of Connecticut is even considered a part of New England is beyond me though. More than half that place is just a suburb of NYC and the rest exists solely to provide those people with insurance.)

Of a bit more importance, UConn has Hasheem Thabeet – a 7’3”, 263 lb shot blocking machine. In addition to being the likely first pick of next year’s NBA draft, Thabeet is the current fan club president of the GoGos. Rumor has it that after Calhoun signed this guy he ran around campus singing: “We’ve got Thabeet. We’ve got Thabeet. Yeah, we’ve got Thabeet. Everybody get on your feet!”

I, however, am not going with UConn because North Carolina will likely end up in this region. Though Chapel Hill is nowhere near Boston, the morons setting the brackets will think that UNC will get an advantage because Boston is ACC country. Little do they realize that the few folks up here who watch college hoop still think BC is in the Big East. So the Tar Heels aren’t going to be playing in front of a crowd of faces painted blue and white. Better shot that there’s a bunch of drunken guys covered in green shouting “Go Larry”.

Regardless they’re so damn good they don’t need a real home court advantage. Mind you, I say this knowing that their coach is the much-maligned Roy Williams. I actually think Williams is a decent coach who is occasionally blind to the happenings on the floor. My theory: it’s not his coaching abilities; it’s his glasses. They guy spends half the game adjusting his glasses and rubbing his eyes. Solution: start wearing a pair of Kareen Abdul Jabbar goggles. That’s what I did in Junior High. I wore them everywhere – thought they made me look cool. Boy was I wrong.

The Tar Heels lost almost nothing from last year’s Final 4 squad. They have Ty Hansbrough, a 3 time player of the year; Ty Lawson one of the best point guards in the nation, and foot freshman phenom, Ty Zeller. I can’t wait till all three of these Tys are on the court at the same time. You have to expect that the jumbo-tron at the Dean Dome will cue up Lacey Underall’s classic scene in Caddyshack: “I bet you’ve got a lot of nice ties. You wanna tie me up with some of your ties, Ty?” My Pick: North Carolina

As for my 2009 NCAA Champ – I envision Memphis up by 4 with 10 seconds to go. UCLA’s Darren Collison has the ball. As opposed to last year, Calipari is screaming NOT to foul. Just like last year his players don’t listen and they foul Collison as he gets the shot off from behind the newly extended 3-point line. Ball goes through the hoop with 2 seconds left. Collison misses the free throw, grabs the rebound, and puts up a floater that swishes through with no time left. UCLA wins. Calipari collapses.

John Cusanno gets another thanks here. This time for his knowledge of the distance between UConn and Boston.

Take it easy,
Dave