Final 4 Pick3 (No longer than Godfather3)

INDIANAPOLIS REGION – Continuing to follow my strategy of picking the best team with the best chance of home court advantage would make Louisville the obvious choice here. Missing the obvious is one of my fortes. So, Louisville is out.

Xavier is another possibility. They’re in the somewhat weak A-10 and there is a new line of thought that playing a lesser schedule actually increases a team’s chance for Tourney success. But that’s kind of like trying to get huge by lifting really light weights. It doesn’t work. I know; I’ve been trying for the past 20 years. Xavier is out.

Then there’s Purdue. I love saying Purdue. Purdue. I bet you can’t say it without smiling. Sometimes I put the emphasis on the “Pur” other times on the “due”. That makes it even more fun. You should really try it. As for their hoops team though, they’re really good but still a little young. Sorry Pur-DUE you’re out too.

That leaves the University of Notre Dame as the only decent team in close proximity. Only problem is I hate Notre Dame. I mean I really hate Notre Dame.

I hate Notre Dame more than anybody hates anything. I hate Notre Dame more than Red Sox fans hate the Yankees. More than Cubs fans hate Bartman (an ND grad I might add). More than Jennifer hates Angelina. More than Al Gore hates Florida. More than Sarah Palin hates Katie Couric. Even more than my mother-in-law hates me.

She actually has good reason to hate me. You see her husband, both her sons and her only daughter, all went to Notre Dame. Yes, I married a Notre Dame grad. And no, she’s NOT even a stripper. She duped me. Honest to God, she promised me that when we had kids, none of our boys would ever, under any circumstances, wear ND garb. Deal. It’s now 8 years later and I am the father of 2 daughters who have every Notre Dame outfit that school makes.

I understand that this in no way explains why I’m picking the school that I despise as one of my Final 4. Reason one: The pursuit of marital bliss. It turns out, years of labeling the university that your wife attended as “the most hypocritical institution on the planet” can put a bit of a strain on the relationship. So, I’m truly going to try to root for olde Notre Dame this basketball season. Go Irish! (I think I taste bile.).

More importantly, ND is supposed to be top notch this year. They have a veteran squad with a 3-point marksman named David Ayers. (Unclear whether he is related to or “pals around with” William Ayers.)

Further, the NCAA knows that nothing would get more non-hoop fans to tune into the Final 4 than having the Fighting Irish in there. I guarantee that if Notre Dame makes it to the regional finals, the refs will give them even more undeserving calls than usual. Disgusting, infuriating, and an additional reason to hate that school. But in the words of Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction, “I’m trying really hard to be the shepherd.” My Pick: Notre Dame.

A thanks to John Cusanno who crafted the “stripper” joke.

Take it easy,
Dave