WARNING: Sometime this week you are going to be approached by the office sports dork. You know, the guy who associates fantasy with football instead of Jessica Alba. He will attempt to sway you to join his NCAA pool. Well, first he’s going to bump into the water cooler and spill his huge stack of brackets. While he’s lying on the floor, you just have to say, “Sorry dude, I’m already in a pool.” If you want to be nice you could also inform him that his forehead seems to be covered with soaked pieces of the West Region.
This will likely place the sports dork on the verge of shock. He’ll still manage to utter, “How? The pairings just came out Sunday.” You say, “There’s this nut case who’s been recruiting people for his pool since November. He actually set up a web site and wrote 2 columns a week just to try to increase the number of people in the pool.” He says, “That’s insane”. You say, “Oh, you know Dave Barend?”
Confused but undeterred, the sports dork counters with, “My pool’s only $10 and the pot is up to $500.” You say, “Dave Barend’s pool is free and his pot is up to $1100. At this point you will be in the presence of a stuttering sports dork. “But, uh, wha, er, huh?” You stop his stammering by informing him that the pot for my pool is made up of all of my advertising profits plus donations from many of the entrants. The dejected sports dork drops his head, wipes away a tear and asks, “How am I supposed to compete with that?” Answer: “You can’t.”
Idiot Proof Instructions For My FREE Pool –
If anyone wants to set up a separate pool to bet on how many people mess up these instructions, count me in.
(1) Send me an email at davebarend@yahoo.com - Just say you want to join the pool and include your full name. In the subject line write something about the NCAA Tourney so I know it’s not a virus or another request for dough from a Nigerian Prince. I truly think I’ve given that guy enough.
(2) Consider adding $ to the Pot – Yes it’s a “free” pool, but it turns out that some folks are using a definition of “free” that I did not intend. My hope was that everyone would think of “free” the same way as how going to church is “free”. There’s no cover charge to get in. But there is a collection.
And that basket eventually comes around to you. And the person sitting to your right has thrown in a $20. And the family to your left has six kids holding envelopes stuffed with their allowances. And you just know the usher is looking at you thinking, “Don’t be a cheap bastard.” Yeah, that’s the “free” I’m talking about – the type that comes with a chunk of guilt and a major dosage of peer pressure.
So, should you feel compelled to donate, just scroll up to the top of this page and right above Gabe Kaplan you’ll find a PayPal link. Click on that to contribute via any credit card. Every dime is going to the pot. Well, every dime except the 2.9% + 30 cents that Paypal takes from each donation.
(3) Receive an Email from Me - This will contain your password and group id # to log into your Yahoo site. I sincerely pray that this year everyone is smart enough to realize that they should not give the password & id# to anyone else. Last year there were two idiots who decided to forward that info to all their friends. Please don’t be that idiot. To say that caused me a bit of a hassle would be like saying that AIG caused a bit of a hassle for the economy.
If you have friends or family who want to join that’s great. All they have to do is email me first. However, I’ve set up 3 different groups on Yahoo for this pool. And I’m trying to put the same number of people in each group. So, I can’t guarantee that the people you invite will all be in your group. But I will perpetually post the leader board on this site. Not being in the same group as your friends does come with a big positive: you can lie about your score.
(4) Go to Yahoo.com
(5) Click on the category "Sports" (towards bottom of left column)
(6) Click on Fantasy (all the way to the right and in red near the top)
(7) Click on "Tourney Pick'em '09" (at least 3 links on that page)
(8) Click on “Join a Group” (Not “create a group”)
(9) Click on “Join Group” (different screen from step 8)
(10) Enter your own personal Yahoo ID and Yahoo password on right side from your own personal Yahoo account. Note that these are NOT the same as the ones that I emailed you for this pool. COMMON MISTAKE – is entering the info I emailed you here. Try not to make that mistake.
(10a) If you do not have your own personal Yahoo account click on "Sign Up" under "Don't have a Yahoo! ID?" Otherwise, go to step (11).
(10b)Enter the requested personal info (name & your creation of an id and password, & code) on the page.
(10c) Write down your personal id and password then click on "agree" to the terms then click on “create my account”.
(10d) Click on “continue” to Yahoo Sports on right side of page.
(11) Enter your group id# and your password that I emailed to you. (Not your personal id and password.) Click on “save and continue”.
(12) Enter your actual full name as your "bracket name". Please NO NICKNAMES!! They make it so hard for me to figure out who is who. Even if you think I know your nickname just enter your actual name. If you must add some additional nickname - go ahead, but your full name must be in there. So let’s say you are Harold Barend and you feel it is extremely important that people know you as Golden Balls, then your entry should be something akin to Harold”GoldenBalls”Barend. I will delete entries that do not comply.
(13) Click on the box next to “Terms of Service”
(14) Determine whether you want to enter Yahoo's contest for $5mil - if so, enter the requested info and accept terms. If you don’t need the $5,000,000 then I’d say you probably could afford to donate a few bucks to the pot.
(15) Hit submit (lower left corner) – You are now in your group.
(16) “I don’t see my name!!” - Your name might not appear because the initial screen only shows 10 entrants. Click on standings. Ahh – there’s your name. Now click on your name. The Midwest region appears. Click on the the team you want to win each game of the first 4 rounds. Then click on Save and Continue. Do the same for the next 3 regions and then for the final 4.
(17) Make sure you Save your Picks – Last year not one, but two people failed to do so. Both actually wanted me to allow them to enter their picks after the games had been played. That reminded me of an episode of Cheers where Sam thought he was doing Woody a favor by not placing a ridiculous sports bet, but the long shot won. Sam then had the following conversation with Diane.
Diane: So, why don't you go to the...
Sam: Bookie.
Diane: ...bookie and tell him that you honestly intended to wager on the winning teams and see if he won't give you the money.
Sam: That's a good idea. While I'm at it why don't I just tell him that I meant to bet on all the winning teams since 1975?
If you just save your picks then we don’t have to have that same conversation.
Rules for the pool:
1.Basic Bracket Format – You get one point for every game you correctly pick in the first round. The points then double each round after each round.
2.Winnings – The person who comes in first place overall will get about 70-75% of the pot. The people who come in first in their groups, but don’t come in first overall will get about 8-10% of the pot. The final 8-10% will be the ”wild card prize” given to the person with the next best score, i.e. – the person with the best score who didn’t come in first in any of the 3 groups.
3.Tie Breakers – The score of the final game will NOT serve as tiebreaker for our pool. If there is a tie the pot is simply split. Should there be a tie for first overall between two or more people who happen to be in the same group – they will split the total for first place plus the $ allotted for the wild card prize. If there is a tie for first overall between two people from different groups, they will split the total of the first place prize, the separate group prize and the wild card prize. If the winners of all 3 groups tie for first overall the whole pot will be split between them.
4.Jimmy V Foundation – Every year I like to take a small portion of the pot and donate it to the Jimmy V. Foundation for Cancer Research. If the pot hits $1,525, I’ll put $25 to Jimmy V. If it goes over $2,050 then I’ll bump that to $50.
*If you don't make your picks before tip off at noon on Thursday, March 19th - you are out - but your $ stays in.
If you need help - and I know some of you will - feel free to email me.
Take it easy,
Dave
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