My Christmas present to you: a new set of college basketball rankings and irrelevant comments as well as the submissions for this week’s overrated and underrated teams - all below
My Christmas present from John Berardi: a favorable endorsement about this site on a couple SU message boards. Thanks John. If you by chance have a hankering for some pizza check out John’s blog – LosAngelesPizza.blogspot.com. It might be best though if that hankering occurred when you’re in LA.
RANKINGS
1.North Carolina (11-0)
Best wins: Michigan State and Notre Dame
My Irrelevant Comment:
You just can’t do better than a Tar Heels game when Bill Raftery is the commentator. I may be watching too much of Raftery though. Yesterday my 2 year-old daughter made a basket and yelled “Onions!” Looks like I need to teach her a little hubris and anatomy.
2.UConn (10-0)
Best Wins: Miami, at Wisconsin and at Gonzaga
My Irrelevant Comment: A buddy of mine was wearing a UCONN sweatshirt when a gorgeous woman came up and said, “Where’s Conn?” He condescendingly said, “It’s short for Connecticut.” She then sulked away. A different reply might have been a tad more appropriate. This woman was good-looking, clearly stupid, and seemingly had low self-esteem. Yeah, the better response would have been “Will you marry me?”
3.Oklahoma (10-0)
Best Wins: Purdue, Davidson & Utah
My Irrelevant Comment:
I hear that opposing crowds are calling Oklahoma senior Taylor Griffen, Tito - in reference to the fact Taylor, much like Tito Jackson, is highly overshadowed by his younger brother (Blake). I think Taylor should just be happy that they aren’t calling him Latoya.
4.Pitt (12-0)
Best wins: Texas Tech, Washington St., & Florida State
My Irrelevant Comment: About 10 years ago PITT decided to stop referring to itself as PITT and went with the full “Pittsburgh” instead. The university has since switched back apparently learning that it’s a bad marketing to emphasize that it’s located in Pittsburgh.
5. Duke (10-1)
Best Wins: S.Illinois, Michigan, & Purdue, Xavier
Worst Loss: Michigan
My Irrelevant Comment: Is it me or is almost every guy on Duke over six foot, with blonde hair, and blue eyes? They go by Blue Devils, but a different name comes to mind.
6.Wake Forest (10-0)
Best Wins; Baylor and UTEP
My Irrelevant Comment: When Wake Forest moved from Wake Forest, North Carolina to Winston-Salem the school kept the name Wake Forest. I think I figured out why. While “Wake Forest” doesn’t necessarily scream basketball, “Winston-Salem” definitely screams Big Tobacco.
7.Gerogetown (9-1)
Best Wins: Maryland & Memphis
Worst loss - Tennessee
My Irrelevant Comment: This week the Hoyas beat Mount St. Mary’s – a school that distinguished itself from St. Mary’s by adding the “Mount”. But now the name seems to suggest that prudish girls named Mary should be, well, mounted.
8.Ohio State (8-0)
Best Wins – ND, at Miami and Butler
My Irrelevant Comment:Ohio State may be so good that I actually contemplated getting the Big Ten Network. Then I though about what it would be like when my wife found out –
Wife: “Why is the cable bill $10 more? Tell me you did not order one of those adult movies!”
Dave: “I ordered the Big Ten Network”
Wife: “The what? You told me you’d never watch porn.”
Dave; “Wait a minute. I never said never.”
Wife: “I knew it! You’re addicted to pornography.
Dave; “It’s the Big Ten Network, I swear,
Wife: “You think I’m stupid? There’s no Big Ten Network. You have a problem.”
9. Texas (8-1)
Best Wins: UCLA, Oregon, & Villanova, Wisconsin
Worst loss: Notre Dame
My Irrelevant Comment:
Before every free throw AJ Abrams puts his hand on his heart. I’m not sure why? I do know that before everyone of my free throws my coach used to put his hand on his heart. If you ever saw me shoot you’d know exactly why.
10.Xavier (10-2)
Best Wins: Memphis, Virginia Tech & at Cincinnati
Losses – Duke & Butler
My Irrelevant Comment: After getting crushed by Duke’s big man, it’s clear that Xavier’s 7 footer Kenny Frease needs to go back to basics. No not rebounding and post play. Real basics like – standing erect. He looks like his auditioning for the lead in The Hunchback of Notre Dame. He's truly the only seven footer who plays like he’s five foot, four.
Most Overrated
Gonzaga – Third week in a row that I was going to pick Louisville (2 losses yet still ranked #19) but another team has been amazingly more disappointing. I was all set to write about how the TV coverage of the Gonzaga-UConn was horrible. I was all set to say that what I meant was that the cameras would inexplicably only give me glimpses of the stunningly attractive female photographer on the baseline. Yeah, I was all set to say that until they lost that game - and then lost to Portland State. So I can’t say any of that.
Other Opinions
Harold Barend: Syracuse – “Syracuse still has not impressed me. Their last win against Coppin State (which has a losing record) was a clinic in basketball "do not" fundamentals. Except for Andy Rautins who kept Syracuse in the game with a record setting barrage of three-pointers, the team didn't show me zip. They were slow getting back on defense and they turned the ball over and over and over. Teams such as Texas that play solid defense and rebound will have Jimmy B crying. It should be interesting to see what kind of moral impact the 40 hours of community work has on the tattoo laden Devendorf.
Most Underrated
Utah State – They are 9-1 one with the only blemish a close loss to BYU. They just beat their rival, the Utah Utes. Every time I hear the Utes I can’t help but think of Fred Gwynne’s question to Joe Pesci in “My Cousin Vinny” – “The two Utes?”
Other Opinions
Mark Hoover : Michigan: “One letter M”: [To clarify, Mark emailed me Michigan’s big blue “M” logo hoping that I’d be able to put it up on this site. I haven’t been able to figure out how to do that for photos Erin Andrews, Bonnie Bernstein, and Jim Boeheim’s wife. Can’t see me mastering that task for an mere M.]
Harold Barend: Duke & Stanford - I think two of the underrated teams are Duke and Stanford. Both teams can shoot the three, which inspires me to watch the game and both teams have a high mental capacity. I pick both to be in the final four--depending on the bracketing. Duke is one of the deepest and most balanced teams in college basketball. I give Duke the edge when they play North Carolina at Duke. [This marks the first time in history that anyone has claimed that Duke is underrated.]
Jim Collins: Boston College – “1/4/09- BC stuns North Carolina in Chapel Hill taking the sting out of the Pats missing the playoffs because of Miami and Baltimore both winning.”
Kenny Robbins: Syracuse – “The 'Cuse only lost by a 67 yard field goal, errrr I mean a lucky 3 pt basket at the end of regulation. Then they regain composure and go into Memphis to beat a decent team On The Road. Great road win there so "Not So Fast" on your uhhh Ken the 'Cuse lost to Clev St. The 'Cuse is Back!!”
Kenny Robbins Part II : The Big Ten: “Also Back is the Big Ten people...it might be negative one outside with a negative 22 wind chill but c'mon people this is Bear Country. Go Bears!!! As for the Big Ten, look we got Michigan State taking down TX on the road. We got Purdue taking down much heralded Davidson in a super big way. And please don't forget weve got Tubby Smith & Minnesota. Minnesotaaaah, with a nice big win over Louisville to improve to 10 - 0. Not to mention Ohio St. beating Dave's fav Irish back on 12/6. I'm not asking for much ink here just some warm up band music for the cold Big Ten land! [Not asking for much ink?]
Take it easy & Merry Christmas,
Dave
(If you want to submit an overrated or underrated team of the week just email me by Wednesday at DaveBarend@yahoo.com and it’ll be posted on Thursday.)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
While it is VERY LAME to use comments to make spelling corrections, the one exception is when you do so for a URL ... your thanks to John at LA Pizza would be more sincere had you written the link as being:
losangelespizza.blogspot.com
In the mean time, I will be registering the link you posted (with one less 'e' than the LA Pizza blog) to post my collection of interracial midget porn.
I am a big believer in the power of numbers, such as that seen in the movie ‘The Number 23’ with underrated actor Jim Carrey and overrated actress Virginia Madsen. To this day, I honestly believe that I’d have been a much better lacrosse player had I been provided my first choice for a jersey number – pi. To that end, I have reviewed the rankings, and offer the following analysis:
#1 North Carolina. Clearly the right choice – ‘North Carolina’ is 13 letters, a prime number.
#2 Connecticut. Also a prime number of letters – 11, but without the luckiness or history of 13, so a #2 pick.
#3 Pittsburgh. OVERRATED. 10 letters, which is not prime. 10 is also considered sexy in the metric system, and no country who uses the metric system has ever produced a competitive college hoops team.
#4 Oklahoma. Now you’re thinking eight letters is not prime, so they should be overrated … however, eight is a cube of two, and that needs to count for something. Plus they get a bonus for the whole “Oklahoma is OK” license plate, which is second only to Idaho’s “Famous Potatoes” in automotive state slogans.
#5 Duke. To me, this team is less ‘Duke’ and more ‘Krzyzewski’. Only two vowels in that long word, with two being the only even-numbered prime. Definitely a top five team.
#6 Wake Forest. OVERRATED. Neither word is prime, plus wake is too often associated with following rather than leading (a ‘wake’ follows death, a boat, or Elmer Fudd when cleaning leaves in his yard)
Most underrated team – Clemson. The reasoning is clear:
1. ‘Clemson’ is seven letters – prime.
2. The university was founded in 1889 – prime (trust me, I looked it up!)
3. South Carolina was the eighth state to join the union – see ‘cube of two’ point above.
4. South Carolina’s secession from the Union was based on 29 key points – prime.
5. Amongst the 50 states, South Carolina ranks 47th in life expectancy, graduation rates, and earnings gap between men and women – prime. It further ranks 2nd in DUI deaths, domestic violence crimes, and acreage of turnip greens and collards. Also prime.
I am sure that further research into teeth and chromosomes would add further support to my analysis. Plus, they are undefeated.
I'm really getting sick of Duke. Coach K and his all-americans are as overrated as John "overturn me" Sirica, Sam "senile segregationist" Sam Irvin, and Walter "the fairy" Kronkite.
Post a Comment