Rankings and Irrelevant Comments (Take 4)

Below is my 4th week of Top 10 Rankings hopefully accompanied by entertaining “irrelevant comments.” There are also submissions of the most overrated and underrated teams even further below.

Rankings
1.North Carolina (13-0)
Best wins: Michigan State and Notre Dame

My Irrelevant Comment:
Check out Tyler Hansbrough’s eyes sometime. They look like he’s in a perpetual state of shock. He always has the same expression as that guy in Caddyshack who dove out of a fishing boat just as Rodney Dangerfield smashed through with his yacht. Who the hell remembers that guy? Well, I was going to say that Hansbrough looks like a cross between Nancy Pelosi and Steve Buscemi. Can there be any doubt that Tyler would prefer that I go with the Caddyshack guy?

2.Pitt (13-0)
Best wins: Texas Tech, Washington St., & Florida State

My Irrelevant Comment: School called itself Pitt because Crotch would have been too disgusting.

3.Wake Forest (11-0)
Best Wins; Baylor and UTEP

My Irrelevant Comment:
I always assumed that Coach Gaudio’s first name was Dean and people called him Dean-O just like they would to Dean Martin. Turns out, his actual name is Dino and they call him Dino just as they would to, well, Fred Flintstone’s pet.

4.Oklahoma (12-1)
Best Wins: Purdue, Davidson & Utah
Loss – at Arkansas

My Irrelevant Comment:
You know Oklahoma’s “Boomer-Sooner” chant? Well, I really thought they were saying “Boom her sooner.” I’ve got to say that my interpretation is much better. It’s essentially telling prospective freshmen that the women on campus don’t have that 3-date requirement.

5. Duke (11-1)
Best Wins: S. Illinois, Michigan, & Purdue, Xavier
Worst Loss: Michigan

My Irrelevant Comment: I’m rooting hard for Duke’s Brian Zoubek to make it big time. Why? Because I’ve always been a big fan of Zubaz pants. Remember those? The really cheesy red and blue zebra stripped sweat pants that were huge in the late 80s. I loved those. And if Zoubek makes it in the pros, he’d be the perfect pitch man: “Zoubek for Zubaz.”

6.Gerogetown (9-1)
Best Wins: Maryland, Memphis & UConn
Loss - Tennessee

My Irrelevant Comment: Though called the Hoyas, the team is also referred to as the G-Men, which of course, conjures up images of the FBI and J. Edgar Hoover. Then again so does the penchant of the male cheerleaders to dress in drag.

7.UConn (10-1)
Best Wins: Miami, at Wisconsin and at Gonzaga
Losses: Georgetown

My Irrelevant Comment: I hear there is a problem with the water on the UConn campus. Something about a yet to be identified foreign substance. Here’s my theory: UConn, a school with a very good men’s basketball team and a bowl bound football team, is crazy for its women’s hoop team. The foreign substance must therefore be – estrogen. (I’d check the water at Tennessee as well.)

8.Notre Dame (10-2)
Best Wins: Texas, Indiana
Losses: North Carolina, Ohio State

My Irrelevant Comment:
Notre Dame is notorious for having a less than stunningly attractive female portion of its student body. It’s really misleading having “Dame” right in its name. I think most alums would even agree that they should really call themselves Notre Dog University. I say “most alums” because my wife, who is an ND grad, will likely castrate me upon reading this. What I won’t do for a laugh.

9. Texas (10-2)
Best Wins: UCLA, Oregon, & Villanova, Wisconsin
Losses: Notre Dame, Michigan St.

My Irrelevant Comment:
True story: I once met a judge who told he me went to Univ. of Texas. In an effort to impress him I said, “Well Hang ’em Horns.” After he walked away disgusted with my stupidity I made the following note: Try to remember it’s Hook ‘em Horns NOT Hang ‘em Horns – especially when speaking to a judge from Texas.

10 Syracuse (12-1)
Best Wins: Florida, Kansas, Virginia, at Memphis
Losses: Cleveland State

My Irrelevant Comment
In last week’s edition of Sport Illustrated, Seth Davis claimed that Syracuse is a potential Final 4 team. This is clear evidence that I am no longer the least knowledgeable college hoop writer.

Most Overrated Team

Ohio State
The Big Ten stinks. The Big Ten stinks. The Big Ten stinks. I must say that over and over so that I never forget how inferior the Big Ten is. Last week I claimed that Ohio State, the best of the Big Ten, was really good. They then lost to West Virginia by 28 – at home.

Other Opinions

Pat Hurley: Purdue - Not only did Purdue (11-3) lose to Illinois at home Tuesday night, but they have two other losses, including an ass-whooping administered by Duke. Why are they ranked #9? More importantly, you can count the number of hot chicks at Purdue on one hand (insert joke here). [Never knew it was a joke that is inserted into one’s hand. Guess I’ve had it wrong all these years.]

Ken Robbins: Dallas Cowboys - Yes how about them Cowboys? More like the cowgirls....or perhaps like the Yankees! As both the Cowboys & Yankees try each year to simply Buy a championship instead of get this - actually compete for a world championship. Not that I would know from my experiences, but as a fan and living here in Chi-town where Jordan built Championships I do know that you need to bring your A-game each time out there. Clearly, the Eagles brought it folks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Ken, sort of looking for an overrated college hoops team, you know to go with DaveBarendsCollegeHoopHumor.blogspot.com.]

Craig Teal: Fordham – Though my Fordham Rams are ranked about 250th according to Jeff Sagarin, I still think they are overrated. They have a brand new logo that was created to inspire more ferocious play. Clearly it didn’t work.

Most Underrated Team

Kentucky (11-3)
How can team with the history and tradition of Kentucky receive no votes from either poll, yet have an 11-3 record? I blame Ashley Judd. She clearly has not been showing up to enough Wildcats games scantily clad.

Other Opinions

Pat Hurley: Illinois - The Illini (13-1) aren’t even ranked, despite wins over Purdue, Vandy, Mizzou and Georgia, and only a single 2-point loss to a 13-0 Clemson squad. Admittedly, the Purdue win was Tuesday night, but still! Moreover, in the words of our honorable governor, Rod Blagojevich, “Being mentioned in Dave Barend’s blog is a pretty f&*%ing valuable thing!”

Keith Mangas: Himself - The only thing that is underrated is a certain blogger’s perceptions of the time this working husband and father of two has to devote to marketing, editing, contributing and increasing the ad revenue of an unnamed Internet blog. And I say that with nothing but admiration for the blogger :)

Bill Sullivan: Notre Dame, Marquette & Georgetown - Not to show any Big East bias but I would nominate Notre Dame, Marquette and Georgetown as the underrated picks. Notre Dame, because as an alum anytime one of our teams is not ranked #1, I in an irrational response, feel we are underrated. Marquette will be a seriously dangerous team this year, with the three top guard rotation in the country and a blossoming star in Lazar Hayward. If only they had Al McGuire back coaching and were still called the Warriors it might be like 1977 all over again.

(If you'd like to contribute to next Thursday's post with your choice for the most overrated/underrated team or player just send an email to me at DaveBarend@yahoo.com by Wednesday night. Rant #8 coming Monday.)

Take it easy,
Dave