My Christmas gift to you – another partial list of the current rankings with some humor, well, hopefully.
2.Ohio State – I saw in the paper that the Buckeyes were playing #4 UConn Sunday afternoon. When I tuned in I depressingly discovered it was a women’s game. After watching a few minutes I became even more depressed - I was reminded that I play basketball worse than girls.
3.Kansas - The Jayhawks’ freshman superstar, John Selby, played in his first game Saturday. He had 5 rebounds, 21 points and hit a clutch 3-pointer in the win against USC. Prior to tip-off, Seth Davis predicted Selby would “take a few games to jell”. Post –game, Davis’ claimed he was actually referring to Selby’s tube of slow acting DEP.
48.Oakland – After the Golden Grizzles beat #7 Tennessee, I did some research to see if they might be the best team in California. Turns out, they aren’t even close. Mainly because they are located in Michigan.
132. St. Bonaventure - My beloved Bonnies beat Ohio University in 4 overtimes. A mere 3053 people showed up for the game. I guess that’s to be expected. I mean, how do they expect to draw people when ESPN was, at the same time, showing the uDrove Humanitarian Bowl?
Take it easy,
Dave
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Handful of Hopefully Humorous Rankings - Week4
Below is this week’s partial rankings. I hope it’s at least partially funny.
9.Baylor – High scoring LaceDarius Dunn was arrested this fall for assaulting his girlfriend, Lacharlesla Edwards. Some people think it was a mistake for the two to reconcile. I agree. I mean, how do they think they are ever going to find a wedding invitation big enough for both of their names?
16.Kentucky – The Wildcats are still trying to appeal the ruling that Enes Kanter is ineligible because he made over $30,000 while playing in Turkey. I wish them luck, but I think they are going to need a stronger argument. I just don’t think the NCAA is going to be persuaded by the fact that all the other players on Kentucky are making over $50,000.
21.BYU – I can’t quite figure out why BYU’s nickname is the Cougars. I guess it’s just because Brigham Young himself had a thing for horny older women.
29.Cleveland State – The official website for Cleveland State indicates that the school’s motto is “Engaged Learning.” That’s somewhat similar to the motto I try to pass on to America’s youth: “Learn To Never Get Engaged.”
Take it easy,
Dave Barend
9.Baylor – High scoring LaceDarius Dunn was arrested this fall for assaulting his girlfriend, Lacharlesla Edwards. Some people think it was a mistake for the two to reconcile. I agree. I mean, how do they think they are ever going to find a wedding invitation big enough for both of their names?
16.Kentucky – The Wildcats are still trying to appeal the ruling that Enes Kanter is ineligible because he made over $30,000 while playing in Turkey. I wish them luck, but I think they are going to need a stronger argument. I just don’t think the NCAA is going to be persuaded by the fact that all the other players on Kentucky are making over $50,000.
21.BYU – I can’t quite figure out why BYU’s nickname is the Cougars. I guess it’s just because Brigham Young himself had a thing for horny older women.
29.Cleveland State – The official website for Cleveland State indicates that the school’s motto is “Engaged Learning.” That’s somewhat similar to the motto I try to pass on to America’s youth: “Learn To Never Get Engaged.”
Take it easy,
Dave Barend
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Handful of Hopefully Humorous Rankings - Week3
Below is this week’s Top 25 minus 21. Enjoy.
2. Ohio State – Opposing coaches have claimed that every time Jared Sullinger throws a pick it is illegal. It’s not that he’s breaking the rules. It’s that when he causes someone to run into his 6’ 9”, 280 pound body he’s committing an assault and battery with a deadly weapon.
7. Syracuse - Coming from Brazil, Federico Melo is experiencing some culture shock. The carnival he went to in Syracuse was not much like Carnival. Though both have odd looking folks in strange get ups, the people at the carnival weren’t wearing costumes.
19. San Diego State – In the 1920’s SD State changed its colors from purple and gold to scarlet and black. It did so to stop people from confusing their letterman jackets with those of a high school with the same colors. Unfortunately some confusion with that high school remains. Not with the jackets, but with the level of education.
25. Notre Dame – Though the Fighting Irish are currently undefeated, the critics point to their lack of a road victory. But that would mean that ND’s 3 wins in Disney World don’t really count. I actually think they deserve an extra win. You know, for escaping the Magic Kingdom without a single homicide.
Take it easy,
Dave
2. Ohio State – Opposing coaches have claimed that every time Jared Sullinger throws a pick it is illegal. It’s not that he’s breaking the rules. It’s that when he causes someone to run into his 6’ 9”, 280 pound body he’s committing an assault and battery with a deadly weapon.
7. Syracuse - Coming from Brazil, Federico Melo is experiencing some culture shock. The carnival he went to in Syracuse was not much like Carnival. Though both have odd looking folks in strange get ups, the people at the carnival weren’t wearing costumes.
19. San Diego State – In the 1920’s SD State changed its colors from purple and gold to scarlet and black. It did so to stop people from confusing their letterman jackets with those of a high school with the same colors. Unfortunately some confusion with that high school remains. Not with the jackets, but with the level of education.
25. Notre Dame – Though the Fighting Irish are currently undefeated, the critics point to their lack of a road victory. But that would mean that ND’s 3 wins in Disney World don’t really count. I actually think they deserve an extra win. You know, for escaping the Magic Kingdom without a single homicide.
Take it easy,
Dave
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