Rankings & Irrelevant Comments - week 6

With apologies to Dr. Seuss, I give you week 6 of my hopefully humorous rankings.

Top 10

1.Kansas – Critics are claiming that KU’s bench isn’t playing up to its potential. I don’t agree. There’s actually one guy on that bench who tallied an amazing 31 points and 18 rebounds in his last game for the Jayhawks. Then again, maybe I shouldn’t be counting the stats of Assistant Coach Danny Manning.

2.Villanova – The Wildcats attempted 39 three-pointers in a game this past week setting a new team record. Can’t say that I’m all that impressed. In fact I’m pretty sure I could have broken that record all by myself. I don’t mean to brag, but during my basketball career I was quite a prolific attempter.

3.Texas – The Longhorns next two opponents are Texas State and Texas Pan-American. Hard to believe that these two future blowouts will take place in an arena called “The Special Events Center.”

4.Purdue – Kramer is shooting an impressive 60% for the Boilermakers so far this year. His coaches think he could play even better if he would just watch his diet. He really has to stop eating all that sugar cereal in Jerry’s apartment.

5.Kentucky – So I was reading the classic “Hop On Pop” to my 3 year-old yesterday. We made it to the part about the ball and the wall (truly the dramatic high point of this piece of literature.) It then hit me that Kentucky should publish its own version for super-Frosh John Wall. Maybe something like:

John Wall can ball
John Wall is tall
Tall John Wall can haul with the ball.
Is John Wall in study hall?
No, John Wall who can haul with the ball is not in study hall.
Because in 6 months the NBA will call.
Then it’s bye-bye college basketball for tall John Wall.

6.Syracuse – The Orange will not have its first true away game until the end of December. All those home games have to be a big plus for the players. And it would be even better if home for Syracuse wasn’t in Syracuse.

7.Duke – During the Blue Devils game vs. UConn, I saw a guy wearing what I thought was a shirt that said Duke. Closer look revealed that the D was actually a P. Turns out that some folks found that to be offensive. No, not the Duke alum, but members of the Kate Moss Fan Club.

8.Georgetown – The Hoyas have a roster filled with massive and athletic guys, but they continue to run that slow and rather wussy “Princeton Offense.” Keep it up and they might want to change their name to Gerogette-town.

9.Tennessee – The Volunteers have a game coming up against Charlotte. Any idea what conference Charlotte is in? Hint: there are 14 teams in its conference. Answer: The Atlantic 10 – of course.

10. West Virginia - The Mountaineers just pummeled Duquesne. Any idea what conference Duquesne is in? Hint: the conference is named after the location of its members and Duquesne is in Pittsburgh. Answer: The Atlantic 10 – of course.

Yes, the Atlantic 10 - the only conference that is both geographically and numerically incorrect.

Here are 3 better names for the Atlantic 10:
1.The Atlantic 800 – as in # of miles from A10 member St. Louis Univ. to the Atlantic
2.The Artic 43 – makes as much sense as the Atlantic 10.
3. Xavier’s Conference

Take it easy,
Dave