Pre-Season Rankings & Irrelevant Comments

2009-2010 college hoops season is here! Below is my first set of Hopefully Humorous Rankings & Irrelevant Comments. I’ll do my best to have a new installment up every Friday.

Pre-Season Top 10
1.Kansas – Lots of cupcakes for the Jayhawks this year – a bunch on their schedule and even more in Sherron Collins’ gut.

2.Kentucky - Speaking of guts, UK has a new “Coach Tubby” in John Calipari. Wonder how long it takes for him to get Kentucky to 16 Final 4 appearances. Yeah I know they already have 17, but Coach Cal has a way of making those disappear.

3.Michigan State – The main reason why the Spartans will have a great season may just lie with the talents of junior Mike Keebler. Not so much for his hoop skills, but because the team can’t make it through half time without downing a batch of his cookies. (At 6’ 4”, I’m pretty sure he was the inspiration for Will Ferrell’s character in Elf.)

4.North Carolina – This past summer Coach Williams was able to live out one of my ultimate fantasies – telling everyone, “I did it! Twins baby!” Though my fantasy has nothing to do with the signing of David and Travis Wear.

5.West Virginia – Freshman D. Kilicli is already feeling a tad homesick. Someone really should have told him that when he gets to West Virginia he can’t expect to have all the modern amenities that he had in his home in Turkey.

6.Duke – Duke has one guy who is 7’1” and 3 guys who are 6’ 10”. Wow. If they all stood on each other’s shoulders they would almost be able to reach the top of Coach K’s ego.

7.Texas – When Dexter Pittman arrived on campus he weighed a massive 366 lbs. He has amazingly dropped over 70 lbs. Not only has his game drastically improved, but the big positive is that people no longer mistake him for Bevo.

8. Mississippi State – The Bulldogs have 17 guys on their roster. That seems a tad stupid. They still need one more for an inter-squad game, of baseball.

9.Villanova – I don’t think I’m going to watch a single Villanova game this season. Don’t get me wrong, I love the team, but after 8 weeks of this year’s football season I don’t think I can handle hearing another announcer say, “Wildcat”.

10.Purdue – Last year while watching the Boilermakers play, my nephew points to the picture of a train on the court and says “Thomas!” I then look at my sister-in-law and say, “What the hell is he talking about?” All right, I didn’t say that, but she could tell I was thinking it. She then says, “Thomas the train. John you are going to have to teach Uncle Dave all about Thomas the train.” I looked back at my sister-in-law and said, “Why the hell do I give a crap about some train named Thomas?” All right, I didn’t say that, but amazingly she couldn’t tell I was thinking that. What I did say was, “Sure John, teach me all about Thomas the train, but first let me grab a beer and a shot and teach you all about a boilermaker.”

Most Overrated: Syracuse - This past week the Orange lost an exhibition game to Div II LeMoyne 82-79. I do give Boeheim some credit though. No not for the class he showed after the embarrassing loss. But for being smart enough to avoid further embarrassment and opting not to scrimmage Wellesley.

Take it easy,
Dave