Handful of Hopefully Humorous Rankings - Week2

ESPN’s “Feast Week” has come to a close and below are some of the leftovers. I hope you enjoy them more than peas.

9.Kentucky – The Wildcats lost to UConn who got 29 points from Kemba Walker. When I mentioned Kemba’s impressive performance during Thanksgiving dinner, my wife asked, “How is it possible that so many points could be scored by a former Playboy centerfold?”

10. Syracuse – The Orange have a game coming up against the Drexel Dragons. Two of Drexel’s players were arrested prior to the season for brandishing a loaded gun. They really didn’t mean any harm. They were just confused with the motto: “We don’t rebuild. We reload.”

25. North Carolina - According to Wikipedia, UNC’s nickname, the Tar Heels, derived from Confederate soldiers who “stuck to their ranks with tar on their heels.” Though impressive during battle, someone should tell Coach Williams that it’s not the best way to play defense.

31.Wisconsin – The Badgers made it to the finals of the Old Spice Classic in Disney World. I found that surprising. No, not that Wisconsin did so well. But, as someone who has stood hour-long lines for Space Mountain, I was previously convinced that all deodorants were banned from The Magic Kingdom.


Take it easy,
Dave

Handful of Hopefully Humorous Rankings - Week1

Instead of just doing the Top 10, this year I’ve decided to throw in some other random teams. Why? To mix it up a bit. I’ve also decided to go with 4 instead of 10. Why? Because 4 is less than 10.

1.Duke – On ESPN this past Friday night, Dick Vitale claimed that Coach K was the best coach of any team of any sport on any level. I think Vitale might have forgotten something. No, not that Bill Belichick has won 3 Super Bowls or that Phil Jackson has 11 rings. But that he was calling a game between Pitt and Texas.

3.Kansas State – It surprised me that prep school star Nino Williams signed with Kansas State. I figured he would have fit in much better at University of Kansas. You know, since he’s from Leavenworth.

20.Temple – I’m hoping that Temple’s upcoming game against Cal is televised and that Chris Berman does the play by play. I’d love to see what kind of nickname he could come up with for Cal’s sophomore, Bak Bak.

23.Tennessee – Coach Bruce Pearl was suspended by the SEC for 8 games because he had recruits over to his house for dinner. This has made the other SEC coaches quite happy. They think they can use this ruling to keep unwanted friends and family from coming to their homes for Thanksgiving dinner.

Take it easy,
Dave

Pre-Season Final 4 & Irrelevant Comments

Below are my hopefully humorous pre-season Final 4 picks. Though, like most people not in Durham, I kind of hope my first pick is wrong.

1.Duke – The Blue Devils first game is against Princeton Sunday in the 10th year of the CBE Classic. That’s quite sad. No, not the match-up. But the fact that something created during my lifetime could possibly be considered a “Classic”. It’s almost as depressing as the time when I heard “The Safety Dance” on the radio and then realized that I was listening to an oldies station.

2.Michigan State – After a big play, Spartans’ guard, Kalin Lucas loves to “jersey pop”. You know, by pulling on the top from of his jersey. He apparently thinks this is quite “bad-ass”. Really? How “bad-ass” can an act be that makes a guy look like he has boobs?

3.Pittsburgh – The Panthers open the season on Monday against Rhode Island. Now that seems appropriate. See ‘cause, Pittsburgh very much likes to be called Pitt and the state of Rhode Island is very much like a pit.

4.Memphis – It might be a stretch to pick the young Tigers for the Final 4, but I really like their new forward, Hippolyte Tsfack. As hoops names go, Hippolyte is definitely top notch. But I can assure you with first hand knowledge that it is not a great pet name for a wife.


Take it easy,
Dave