Rankings & Irrelevant Comments - week 18

I feel compelled to inform you that my beloved St. Bonaventure Bonnies are mentioned on page 27 of this week’s Sports Illustrated. You should really check it out. Well, after you read week 18 of my Hopefully Humorous Rankings.

Top 10 -

1.Syracuse – During ESPN’s telecast of Saturday’s game from the Carrier Dome, they kept showing a dancing, overweight, middle-aged guy who had achieved a modicum of fame in the 80s. They called him the “Dome Ranger.” I kind of think a better nickname would have been “Digger.”

2.Kansas – Thanks to a great game from Obi Muonelo, Oklahoma State knocked off the Jayhawks this past weekend. I have to say the reporters showed great restraint when interviewing Muonelo after the big win. Not once did anyone ask, “So Obi, do you think the force was with you?”

3.Kentucky - The Wildcats went to Tennessee and got knocked off. The same fate befell Kansas when they went to Tennessee. So it seems like the Volunteers just need one more accomplishment to be considered the favorite to win the Tourney. Beat Syracuse? No. Convince the NCAA to move the Final 4 to Tennessee.

4. West Virginia – The current Mountaineer mascot is a very attractive female student. I don’t think that’s going to help rid West Virginia of its back woods image. I mean, they finally find a good-looking woman in that state and then they dress her up as a man.

5.Villanova – For $5 you can buy a headband that says, “I love Villanova Hoops”. Or for free, you can get a marker and write on your forehead, “I’m a Dork”.

6. Kansas State – I just learned that the purple clad K-State Wildcats are one of only 3 Division 1 teams that have a single official color. There’s Syracuse whose one color is obviously orange. And also Harvard, whose one color is obviously - dollar bill green.

7. Ohio State – In December, Evan Turner fell during an attempted slam-dunk and broke 2 vertebrae. Today he’s not only back playing, but is a front-runner for player of the year. Truly fantastic. Especially in the eyes of conservative commentator Glenn Beck. He believes Turner’s recovery is definitive evidence that there is no need for national health care.

8. Purdue – ESPN included Robbie Hummel’s season ending injury amongst the “Breaking News” on its scroll. I’m amazed ESPN considered that breaking news. Usually they reserve that for extremely important events. Like when Mel Kiper Jr. creates a new list of the top 5 tackles.

9.Duke – The Blue Devils may end up facing Florida State in the ACC Tournament. The Seminoles center, Soloman Alabi (pronounced A-lah-be) is one of my favorites. I’ve even gone so far as to write a song about him. Here’s what I have so far:

“A-lah be, A-lah be, A-lah A-lah A-lah be. A-lah be on the next level. A-lah be rockin over that bass treble.”

I’m telling you, it’s going to be a hit. I gotta feeling.

10. New Mexico – New Mexico’s coach got into a bit of a confrontation with a player on BYU. For perspective on whether the coach should be punished who did ESPN turn to? Bobby Knight. You can actually read Knight’s response on ESPN.com. If instead you’re looking for something less predictable, check out Rush Limbaugh’s current opinion on the Obama Administration.

Take it easy,
Dave